I believe my time with Blogger is once again over.
It's been a good few years, and I'll definitely have a lot of unforgettable memories with Blogger, but I believe it's time to move on. This was just a transitional blog that lasted longer than it should have anyway.
Also, it's really annoying how I have to keep re-typing my Google account name and password over and over each time I log in because even if I check the "Remember my username and password" box, it still won't work.
So goodbye, Blogger. It's 8:12 AM on Saturday, the 28th of April.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Thursday, April 26, 2007
不能和你一起﹔擁有喜悅和悲傷。不管走多遠﹐步伐都沒有力量
Is it possible to get a hangover-migraine from three sips of a margarita?
Jesus Christ, if I'd known the headache would be this bad, I wouldn't have even looked at the thing.
See, Mom, Dad, Andrew and I went out to Promenade last night but went to Chilis first to eat something (and well, that place is all I really live for in the culinary world :p). Andrew got this (alcoholic) Mango-flavored Margarita (I think the brand was President) and mom, dad and I each took sips, but mom and I went for seconds, thirds and fourths.
I myself got a Creamsicle Classic, which was, from its description, fresh orange juice with milk and vanilla iced cream (very reminiscent of my previous concoction, the Dalandan Float). It was good--something like an innocent, underaged version of the Margarita.
Then we all had the ever-famous Chicken Crispers (it's all we really order whenever we go there, which isn't even all that often). We ordered three sets, and mom was all "What?!". Anyhow, it was five strips of chicken each about a little longer than your middle finger from tip to knuckle, and much fatter. Amazing. Then there was a ton of fries and the unique-to-Chilis Honey Mustard. I'm sold to this place. I worship the ground that it was made on.
So then we stuffed ourselves full (Mom got a salad of some sort, I think the one we usually order from Chilis on New Year's) and Dad got a steak thing (damn good steak, at that) with assorted veggies and ranch-dressed Mashed Potato (to die for).
We moved on (mom was a little nervous about the pounds she was gaining and we allayed her fears by walking all the way back to Promenade) and headed straight for the arcade, which Andrew has been obsessed with ever since he found out this girl he liked at school was into Initial D. He played that Daytona game. Then we all pigged out on Trivia, which Alex Pacquiao'd. After which, Alex proceeded to kick Andrew's ass in Basketball. Twice. ROFL.
Then he beat me in Air Hockey after I beat Andrew. CRAP!
But we both played the Kill-The-Zombie thing, similar to what Kenn led me to do (kill dinosaurs I think), but this time with undead rather than the long-deceased. At which I outlasted him. HAHA!
Then we all went home and made plans. It was happy.
Ooh... guess what!
Someone's been taking voice and piano lessons.
There is love right now. At this second. Much, much love.
So I've had three of each, and Andrew has had two of his voice lessons.
(Okay, a little aside--Alex just woke up looking like Hell and sees me in the computer room. He looks at me all bleary-eyed and, jerking his thumb back to the direction of our room, goes "Tulog ka pa a!" Well obviously not anymore, genius.)
Anyway, I can play stuff on the piano!!!! WEEEHOOO!!!!
I CAN SING STUFF FROM THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!! WHOOOO!!!!
AND IF I KEEP DOING THIS, I'LL BREAK MY CAPS LOCK!!! AND THEN WHAT???
TAPE DOWN THE SHIFT KEY, OF COURSE!!!
Wehehehehe.
Just a tiny update thing.
Jesus Christ, if I'd known the headache would be this bad, I wouldn't have even looked at the thing.
See, Mom, Dad, Andrew and I went out to Promenade last night but went to Chilis first to eat something (and well, that place is all I really live for in the culinary world :p). Andrew got this (alcoholic) Mango-flavored Margarita (I think the brand was President) and mom, dad and I each took sips, but mom and I went for seconds, thirds and fourths.
I myself got a Creamsicle Classic, which was, from its description, fresh orange juice with milk and vanilla iced cream (very reminiscent of my previous concoction, the Dalandan Float). It was good--something like an innocent, underaged version of the Margarita.
Then we all had the ever-famous Chicken Crispers (it's all we really order whenever we go there, which isn't even all that often). We ordered three sets, and mom was all "What?!". Anyhow, it was five strips of chicken each about a little longer than your middle finger from tip to knuckle, and much fatter. Amazing. Then there was a ton of fries and the unique-to-Chilis Honey Mustard. I'm sold to this place. I worship the ground that it was made on.
So then we stuffed ourselves full (Mom got a salad of some sort, I think the one we usually order from Chilis on New Year's) and Dad got a steak thing (damn good steak, at that) with assorted veggies and ranch-dressed Mashed Potato (to die for).
We moved on (mom was a little nervous about the pounds she was gaining and we allayed her fears by walking all the way back to Promenade) and headed straight for the arcade, which Andrew has been obsessed with ever since he found out this girl he liked at school was into Initial D. He played that Daytona game. Then we all pigged out on Trivia, which Alex Pacquiao'd. After which, Alex proceeded to kick Andrew's ass in Basketball. Twice. ROFL.
Then he beat me in Air Hockey after I beat Andrew. CRAP!
But we both played the Kill-The-Zombie thing, similar to what Kenn led me to do (kill dinosaurs I think), but this time with undead rather than the long-deceased. At which I outlasted him. HAHA!
Then we all went home and made plans. It was happy.
Ooh... guess what!
Someone's been taking voice and piano lessons.
There is love right now. At this second. Much, much love.
So I've had three of each, and Andrew has had two of his voice lessons.
(Okay, a little aside--Alex just woke up looking like Hell and sees me in the computer room. He looks at me all bleary-eyed and, jerking his thumb back to the direction of our room, goes "Tulog ka pa a!" Well obviously not anymore, genius.)
Anyway, I can play stuff on the piano!!!! WEEEHOOO!!!!
I CAN SING STUFF FROM THE SOUND OF MUSIC!!! WHOOOO!!!!
AND IF I KEEP DOING THIS, I'LL BREAK MY CAPS LOCK!!! AND THEN WHAT???
TAPE DOWN THE SHIFT KEY, OF COURSE!!!
Wehehehehe.
Just a tiny update thing.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Andrew's Surprise
We have to be two of the coolest brothers alive.
Alex was informed by Andrew's friends that they were planning to surprise him for his birthday (it's not today, of course). So Alex tells me about it, and today, we followed through as planned.
Alex would tell Andrew that he had to come back for him at six so he could bring him to the Fort for a gimmick with his friends.
Alex and I order a cake from Red Ribbon (chocolate mousse).
Andrew's friends arrived in a nice pink-and-purple bus smack dab in the middle of our avenue (no, i'm serious) earlier than was expected. Alex began to badger Andrew, who had gone to PowerPlant earlier in the afternoon to run some errands and have my iPod fixed, to come back earlier.
Andrew refused and said the agreement was 6. Eventually, Andrew comes home and I show him "One", starring the [(very) hot] Nikki Bridges, and ex-Charmed-star Drew Fuller to distract him. Alex gets the friends to enter the gate.
I pull the cake out and give it to Andrew, who goes "wow", smiles and remarks it's his favorite cake (lucky us!).
We all go downstairs (Andrew thankfully doesn't question why I'm going downstairs, too) and when he opens the door, he sees his friends and they yell "Surprise!".
We take pictures and video his reactions, and he sees the gargantuan pink-and-purple bus and asks why he didn't see it earlier. Alex makes a quick jab at his observation skills and takes the car keys off of Andrew, explaining that since that was their ride, he got the car.
So they all file into the bus, Alex takes the car, and I go back upstairs.
That's when I realized that the house seemed so empty without them.
...
The red ribbon that Andrew untied from the cakebox was still sitting on the cabinet.
If You're Missing (Come On Home) by Bethany Joy Lenz.
Here I am, red high heels
Yellow dress, perfect nails, lips like velvet
Don’t you want me, baby?
I’ve been here and back again
It never answers anything
Where was I when they handed out the knowing you are loved?
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing, come on home [*cries* so beautiful]
Been undone, I’ve seen it all
Still somehow I refuse to kick this carnivore to the wall
Traveled here a thousand years
It’s a wonder my heart still hears
It beats, it feels, it does anything at all
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing come on home
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing come on home
Alex was informed by Andrew's friends that they were planning to surprise him for his birthday (it's not today, of course). So Alex tells me about it, and today, we followed through as planned.
Alex would tell Andrew that he had to come back for him at six so he could bring him to the Fort for a gimmick with his friends.
Alex and I order a cake from Red Ribbon (chocolate mousse).
Andrew's friends arrived in a nice pink-and-purple bus smack dab in the middle of our avenue (no, i'm serious) earlier than was expected. Alex began to badger Andrew, who had gone to PowerPlant earlier in the afternoon to run some errands and have my iPod fixed, to come back earlier.
Andrew refused and said the agreement was 6. Eventually, Andrew comes home and I show him "One", starring the [(very) hot] Nikki Bridges, and ex-Charmed-star Drew Fuller to distract him. Alex gets the friends to enter the gate.
I pull the cake out and give it to Andrew, who goes "wow", smiles and remarks it's his favorite cake (lucky us!).
We all go downstairs (Andrew thankfully doesn't question why I'm going downstairs, too) and when he opens the door, he sees his friends and they yell "Surprise!".
We take pictures and video his reactions, and he sees the gargantuan pink-and-purple bus and asks why he didn't see it earlier. Alex makes a quick jab at his observation skills and takes the car keys off of Andrew, explaining that since that was their ride, he got the car.
So they all file into the bus, Alex takes the car, and I go back upstairs.
That's when I realized that the house seemed so empty without them.
...
The red ribbon that Andrew untied from the cakebox was still sitting on the cabinet.
If You're Missing (Come On Home) by Bethany Joy Lenz.
Here I am, red high heels
Yellow dress, perfect nails, lips like velvet
Don’t you want me, baby?
I’ve been here and back again
It never answers anything
Where was I when they handed out the knowing you are loved?
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing, come on home [*cries* so beautiful]
Been undone, I’ve seen it all
Still somehow I refuse to kick this carnivore to the wall
Traveled here a thousand years
It’s a wonder my heart still hears
It beats, it feels, it does anything at all
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing come on home
Don’t it get lonely out there, little darling?
Well, come on home
I’ll be here with open arms to hold you where you belong
I’ll be here with open arms to show you where you belong
If you’re missing come on home
Sunday, April 15, 2007
櫻花開了幾轉
I scrambled up against the grimy stone walls in the cell. It was dark here--dead in the night. Droplets of water were dripping ominously down onto the floor from an elevated place somewhere in the prison. For a while, it's all I can hear. Drip, drip, drip.
Then for the first time in what feels like ages, there are footsteps; light and springy. Almost . . . happy.
She's here.
I know it.
Sure enough, within a few seconds, the echo of the even footsteps has amplified and come to a full stop outside me cell. I'm cloaked in the darkness, so she has to squint in order to see me.
The keys jangle threateningly in her grip. She's absolutely sure of herself.
She toys with the keys, and I sense her gaze upon me, trying to smell fear.
Then, finally, she thrusts the metal key into the hole in the door to the cell and opens it, then closes it behind her. Her touch is light and breezy--she knows what she will do. She has the abilities to do it.
I can see her in the moonlight--her face sharp and beautiful. Pale skin, brown hair and blue eyes. Hard blue eyes. Ice blue.
She was almost attractive . . . save for the small, slim, hand-long cylindrical object in her grip, as red as her blood-crimson dress. She activates it with an ease about her.
"You know why I am here." And the twin blades shoot out from either side of the cylinder; standing at its full height, it is even taller than her.
I do not reply. There is no need to. This will all be over in a matter of seconds.
Instead, I rise, facing her. My silhouette is cloaked in shadows.
"You will not even honor my presence with an acknowledgement?" She asks, mocking--the predator circling her prey before she closes in.
Once more, I am silent. I think about what she might do. Perhaps she would simply impale me and be done with it? Slash me across the throat? Slice me up limb from limb? No matter.
She smirks, suddenly. Then, raising the double-edged blade, she stabs me in my solar plexus.
Ah, so that's how.
And we both stand inert for a few seconds.
And she pierces me deeper.
And my eyes glow green.
"Surprise."
She flinches, confusion and fear in her eyes. She tightens her grip on the blade and, with one swift maneuver of the elbow, she wrenches the blade out through the right side of my body.
Well, if you could call it a 'body'.
The weapon collides with the wall from the force with which she acted, causing sparks and the rather pleasant sound of steel colliding with stone.
I don't even move.
"Are you finished yet?"
"Barely." She quips and attempts to backhand me across the face. Her warm hand comes into contact with cold, cold skin.
She knows something is wrong now. Terrified, she stumbles backward.
"Who- what are you?" She stammers, floundering to gain her footing.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I advance, cloak billowing up about and above me, blotting out the moonlight from the window completely. She fumbles for the door. I seize her by the neck.
Warmth. I miss that. A warm woman.
My grip tightens. Her neck constricts, resisting for a few seconds before submitting to my strength. She rasps and flails her arms. As I crush her neck, her larynx and other muscles, and warm, warm blood come bursting out of it, and her eyes are frozen open in pain and anguish.
Soundlessly, I push the grates of the cell door open and step out, making my way through the din of the now-buzzing cells. They had heard something happening in my cell. When they turn to look at me, deathly silent, simply walking by, I know they can feel the chill.
I smile at them. They shrink back, nightmares already shooting up in their subconscious. It's almost flattering to know they'll all be dreaming about me tonight.
Steadily, I plunge into the weathering nothingness ahead.
Then for the first time in what feels like ages, there are footsteps; light and springy. Almost . . . happy.
She's here.
I know it.
Sure enough, within a few seconds, the echo of the even footsteps has amplified and come to a full stop outside me cell. I'm cloaked in the darkness, so she has to squint in order to see me.
The keys jangle threateningly in her grip. She's absolutely sure of herself.
She toys with the keys, and I sense her gaze upon me, trying to smell fear.
Then, finally, she thrusts the metal key into the hole in the door to the cell and opens it, then closes it behind her. Her touch is light and breezy--she knows what she will do. She has the abilities to do it.
I can see her in the moonlight--her face sharp and beautiful. Pale skin, brown hair and blue eyes. Hard blue eyes. Ice blue.
She was almost attractive . . . save for the small, slim, hand-long cylindrical object in her grip, as red as her blood-crimson dress. She activates it with an ease about her.
"You know why I am here." And the twin blades shoot out from either side of the cylinder; standing at its full height, it is even taller than her.
I do not reply. There is no need to. This will all be over in a matter of seconds.
Instead, I rise, facing her. My silhouette is cloaked in shadows.
"You will not even honor my presence with an acknowledgement?" She asks, mocking--the predator circling her prey before she closes in.
Once more, I am silent. I think about what she might do. Perhaps she would simply impale me and be done with it? Slash me across the throat? Slice me up limb from limb? No matter.
She smirks, suddenly. Then, raising the double-edged blade, she stabs me in my solar plexus.
Ah, so that's how.
And we both stand inert for a few seconds.
And she pierces me deeper.
And my eyes glow green.
"Surprise."
She flinches, confusion and fear in her eyes. She tightens her grip on the blade and, with one swift maneuver of the elbow, she wrenches the blade out through the right side of my body.
Well, if you could call it a 'body'.
The weapon collides with the wall from the force with which she acted, causing sparks and the rather pleasant sound of steel colliding with stone.
I don't even move.
"Are you finished yet?"
"Barely." She quips and attempts to backhand me across the face. Her warm hand comes into contact with cold, cold skin.
She knows something is wrong now. Terrified, she stumbles backward.
"Who- what are you?" She stammers, floundering to gain her footing.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" I advance, cloak billowing up about and above me, blotting out the moonlight from the window completely. She fumbles for the door. I seize her by the neck.
Warmth. I miss that. A warm woman.
My grip tightens. Her neck constricts, resisting for a few seconds before submitting to my strength. She rasps and flails her arms. As I crush her neck, her larynx and other muscles, and warm, warm blood come bursting out of it, and her eyes are frozen open in pain and anguish.
Soundlessly, I push the grates of the cell door open and step out, making my way through the din of the now-buzzing cells. They had heard something happening in my cell. When they turn to look at me, deathly silent, simply walking by, I know they can feel the chill.
I smile at them. They shrink back, nightmares already shooting up in their subconscious. It's almost flattering to know they'll all be dreaming about me tonight.
Steadily, I plunge into the weathering nothingness ahead.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
錯愛畢竟也是愛
Good Lord!
It has been a while since I've posted hasn't it?
I can remember there were several things I had been meaning to blog about but just never got to. Now I don't even remember what they were! Oh well...
So why am I suddenly here?
Well... AARON LINES UPDATE!!!!
Outside the Lines, Inc
Press Release
Aaron Lines Shows a Different Side in New Single
"CHEAPER TO KEEP HER"
Calgary, AB - April 9, 2007
Country singer/songwriter Aaron Lines is known for his heartfelt lyrics through songs like "Waitin' on the Wonderful", "Twenty Years Late", "You Can't Hide Beautiful" and "The Lights of My Hometown" to name a few.
"Cheaper to Keep Her" a new single to be released on April 19, 2007 to country radio, is sure to show people a different side of Lines' personality. "I noticed that a lot of my fans only knew one side of me, the serious side. I wanted to let people know me better. I enjoy joking around and having a good time, and I wanted to lighten things up a little bit with this first single", states Lines.
Aaron Lines co-wrote "Cheaper to Keep Her" with a few friends after laughing at a bumper sticker he saw while driving down the road one afternoon in Florida. "Cheaper to Keep Her", a humorous take on a friend's divorce is sure to be a favorite tongue in cheek sing along for Lines' fans to enjoy.
"Cheaper to Keep Her" is the first single to be released from Aaron Lines "Moments that Matter" album which will be released on June 12, 2007.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Aaron Lines' New Album is called "Moments That Matter", and will be released on the 12th of June. THE TWELFTH OF JUNE, MY FRIENDS!!! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT IS HAPPENING??? IT'S COMING OUT... ON MY... YES. Yes. You understand now.
OH MY GOD!!!!
Alright, off my chest now. I will go listen to the 60++ new Chinese songs and the 9 new Tim McGraw songs I recently downloaded. Speaking of Tim McGraw...
YOU ALL MUST LISTEN TO "Something Like That" by Tim McGraw! It's one of the coolest songs I've heard in a while. Oh, and "Real Good Man", with raunchy innuendoes. Download them! Now! NOW!!!
I broke my glasses and had a haircut. In that order.
I bought a load of chips and had a seafood meal for lunch and dinner.
I'm not in love.
I've started watching two new shows. No point to this, really, just keeping myself updated on what happened when.
Real Good Man by Tim McGraw
Girl, you've never known no one like me up there in your high society
They might tell you I'm no good
Girl, they need to understand just who I am
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I may drink too much and play too loud
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd
That don't mean I don't respect my momma or my Uncle Sam
Yes sir, yes ma'am
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I might have a reckless streak at least a country mile wide
If you're gonna run with me, it's gonna be a wild ride
When it comes to lovin' you, I've got velvet hands
I'll show you how a real bad boy can be a real good man
I'll take all the good times I can get
I'm too young for growing up just yet
Ain't much I can promise you except to do the best I can
I'll be damned
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
-----------------------------------------------------------
愛與被愛 by 王浩信 & 梁晴晴
兄妹般關係 萬勿暴露情感
待我好 畢竟真的太笨
抱緊你 只恐加添責任
回絕你 惟恐孤單要忍
知道不可能 我也有權愛慕
無論智慧永遠次人一等
陪在你左右 得到單戀的毒癮
你怕我浪費感情 無用費心
無論愛跟被愛 誰也沒有自由
感動過其實更難受
完全奉獻不論薄酬
慚愧地在托著頭 用愛換來內疚
大無畏單戀至死不會後悔
仍然麻木送贈你感情未悔改
我已著呆 怕你著呆
我拼命愛 我怕被愛
殘酷得不忍去離開
沉悶時也有個人總會願意
給我被愛感覺為我跳落海
這個月台 我踏入來
愛與被愛 都算慷慨
自責半分鐘後來 我也得到半滴愛
兄妹般關係 實在故弄玄虛
被愛的 開心得很畏懼
盲目去傾慕 得到單戀的樂趣
愛你會令你憂愁 寧願後退
＊地球上一位送死一個內疚
原來同樣也為了感情未看開
我已著呆 怕你著呆
我拼命愛 我怕被愛
同樣拉扯中跌落海
平淡時與你往來一個越愛
一個越會感慨就當我活該
這個月台 我踏入來
愛與被愛 都算慷慨
但至少一起扮呆 錯愛畢竟也是愛＊
無論愛跟被愛 流放在這地球
怎樣愛同樣要承受
誰人做塊堅硬石頭
能夠寂寞到盡頭 但我未能自救
REPEAT＊
It has been a while since I've posted hasn't it?
I can remember there were several things I had been meaning to blog about but just never got to. Now I don't even remember what they were! Oh well...
So why am I suddenly here?
Well... AARON LINES UPDATE!!!!
Outside the Lines, Inc
Press Release
Aaron Lines Shows a Different Side in New Single
"CHEAPER TO KEEP HER"
Calgary, AB - April 9, 2007
Country singer/songwriter Aaron Lines is known for his heartfelt lyrics through songs like "Waitin' on the Wonderful", "Twenty Years Late", "You Can't Hide Beautiful" and "The Lights of My Hometown" to name a few.
"Cheaper to Keep Her" a new single to be released on April 19, 2007 to country radio, is sure to show people a different side of Lines' personality. "I noticed that a lot of my fans only knew one side of me, the serious side. I wanted to let people know me better. I enjoy joking around and having a good time, and I wanted to lighten things up a little bit with this first single", states Lines.
Aaron Lines co-wrote "Cheaper to Keep Her" with a few friends after laughing at a bumper sticker he saw while driving down the road one afternoon in Florida. "Cheaper to Keep Her", a humorous take on a friend's divorce is sure to be a favorite tongue in cheek sing along for Lines' fans to enjoy.
"Cheaper to Keep Her" is the first single to be released from Aaron Lines "Moments that Matter" album which will be released on June 12, 2007.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Aaron Lines' New Album is called "Moments That Matter", and will be released on the 12th of June. THE TWELFTH OF JUNE, MY FRIENDS!!! DO YOU REALIZE WHAT IS HAPPENING??? IT'S COMING OUT... ON MY... YES. Yes. You understand now.
OH MY GOD!!!!
Alright, off my chest now. I will go listen to the 60++ new Chinese songs and the 9 new Tim McGraw songs I recently downloaded. Speaking of Tim McGraw...
YOU ALL MUST LISTEN TO "Something Like That" by Tim McGraw! It's one of the coolest songs I've heard in a while. Oh, and "Real Good Man", with raunchy innuendoes. Download them! Now! NOW!!!
I broke my glasses and had a haircut. In that order.
I bought a load of chips and had a seafood meal for lunch and dinner.
I'm not in love.
I've started watching two new shows. No point to this, really, just keeping myself updated on what happened when.
Real Good Man by Tim McGraw
Girl, you've never known no one like me up there in your high society
They might tell you I'm no good
Girl, they need to understand just who I am
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I may drink too much and play too loud
Hang out with a rough and rowdy crowd
That don't mean I don't respect my momma or my Uncle Sam
Yes sir, yes ma'am
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I might have a reckless streak at least a country mile wide
If you're gonna run with me, it's gonna be a wild ride
When it comes to lovin' you, I've got velvet hands
I'll show you how a real bad boy can be a real good man
I'll take all the good times I can get
I'm too young for growing up just yet
Ain't much I can promise you except to do the best I can
I'll be damned
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
I may be a real bad boy but, baby, I'm a real good man
-----------------------------------------------------------
愛與被愛 by 王浩信 & 梁晴晴
兄妹般關係 萬勿暴露情感
待我好 畢竟真的太笨
抱緊你 只恐加添責任
回絕你 惟恐孤單要忍
知道不可能 我也有權愛慕
無論智慧永遠次人一等
陪在你左右 得到單戀的毒癮
你怕我浪費感情 無用費心
無論愛跟被愛 誰也沒有自由
感動過其實更難受
完全奉獻不論薄酬
慚愧地在托著頭 用愛換來內疚
大無畏單戀至死不會後悔
仍然麻木送贈你感情未悔改
我已著呆 怕你著呆
我拼命愛 我怕被愛
殘酷得不忍去離開
沉悶時也有個人總會願意
給我被愛感覺為我跳落海
這個月台 我踏入來
愛與被愛 都算慷慨
自責半分鐘後來 我也得到半滴愛
兄妹般關係 實在故弄玄虛
被愛的 開心得很畏懼
盲目去傾慕 得到單戀的樂趣
愛你會令你憂愁 寧願後退
＊地球上一位送死一個內疚
原來同樣也為了感情未看開
我已著呆 怕你著呆
我拼命愛 我怕被愛
同樣拉扯中跌落海
平淡時與你往來一個越愛
一個越會感慨就當我活該
這個月台 我踏入來
愛與被愛 都算慷慨
但至少一起扮呆 錯愛畢竟也是愛＊
無論愛跟被愛 流放在這地球
怎樣愛同樣要承受
誰人做塊堅硬石頭
能夠寂寞到盡頭 但我未能自救
REPEAT＊
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Mom and Dad just came home.
About an hour and a half ago, we had a spat at the office. Mom told me that the way she saw it, I knew how to do the work I was assigned but I was just playing dumb. I walked out on them.
Then about two minutes ago, she walks up to me like nothing had happened, puts on that unbearably stupid baby voice and waggles a finger at me. "Bad attitude."
Then she chats with Andrew and exits, but just before she closes the door, she stands at the doorframe and asks if we'd like to go anywhere tonight. But Andrew was computer-ing and I was simmering, and neither of us felt any need to reply. So she just stood where she was quietly for a few seconds, then stepped out and slowly closed the door.
Honestly, I should be brutally heartless about the whole situation. They accused me of being difficult when, really, I had been very patient. But whenever dad or mom acts that way, like a puppy that had just been kicked, I have this terrible guilt-trip. It's like my inside is telling me that I should be more patient, and I start qualifying their actions for them.
I just can't stay mad at them. I really should be iron-like and cutthroat if I ever expect them to treat me as an equal and not as an obstinate five year old, but somehow, I can't seem to be the hard-driven man of steel I want to be.
Damn compassion and filial piety.
About an hour and a half ago, we had a spat at the office. Mom told me that the way she saw it, I knew how to do the work I was assigned but I was just playing dumb. I walked out on them.
Then about two minutes ago, she walks up to me like nothing had happened, puts on that unbearably stupid baby voice and waggles a finger at me. "Bad attitude."
Then she chats with Andrew and exits, but just before she closes the door, she stands at the doorframe and asks if we'd like to go anywhere tonight. But Andrew was computer-ing and I was simmering, and neither of us felt any need to reply. So she just stood where she was quietly for a few seconds, then stepped out and slowly closed the door.
Honestly, I should be brutally heartless about the whole situation. They accused me of being difficult when, really, I had been very patient. But whenever dad or mom acts that way, like a puppy that had just been kicked, I have this terrible guilt-trip. It's like my inside is telling me that I should be more patient, and I start qualifying their actions for them.
I just can't stay mad at them. I really should be iron-like and cutthroat if I ever expect them to treat me as an equal and not as an obstinate five year old, but somehow, I can't seem to be the hard-driven man of steel I want to be.
Damn compassion and filial piety.
Friday, March 30, 2007
親親的我的寶貝 我要越過高山
Nothing big has happened in my life lately. Hence the entry will also be known as 平常事.
So... lately.
Well, yesterday, the 29th, I got my report card from school.
It turns out, we didn't have a driver that morning, so I had to take a cab. When I finally got to Xavier, I went straight to the MPH and got my stuff from Mr. Asis, who was sitting at the table to the right of the place from the entrance door.
He also gave me a red book with a thick stack of papers inserted between the cover and the first page. When I looked closer, I saw the word "Burn" printed in beautiful gold ink against the brick red of the cover. INNER ORGASM HERE!!!! IT'S THE LITMAAAAAAG!!!
Quickly, I check the table of contents, and there they were--two of the pictures I sent in! JOY!
Anyhow, I sit around and take a cab back home.
When I get home, I go through the novel with a fine-toothed comb for some good literary works to save for a rainy coffee-filled Saturday when...
Oh my.
It's a literary work. From me.
Did I even send that in? Because seriously, I don't recall sending that in. As in seriously. I DID NOT SEND THAT IN.
But I guess I did, because it's there. Unless someone got into my computer, stole one of my most sacred pieces of work and uploaded it for the entire goddamn High School to see. I'm queasy just thinking about it.
Gods.
Anyway, my grades were good. I think I got what I deserved. Sort of. Thanks Mr. Claro!
You know what? Summer has never taken this long to really "sink in" yet. But I'm not exactly sure of what summer sinking in should feel like, so perhaps I'm not fit to blog about it. But when I think about Xavier, I still feel the same way as I did when I used to go to class. It's strange.
Wow. I wanna kick my life in high gear but I can't.
Stupid YFC. Jeez.
So... lately.
Well, yesterday, the 29th, I got my report card from school.
It turns out, we didn't have a driver that morning, so I had to take a cab. When I finally got to Xavier, I went straight to the MPH and got my stuff from Mr. Asis, who was sitting at the table to the right of the place from the entrance door.
He also gave me a red book with a thick stack of papers inserted between the cover and the first page. When I looked closer, I saw the word "Burn" printed in beautiful gold ink against the brick red of the cover. INNER ORGASM HERE!!!! IT'S THE LITMAAAAAAG!!!
Quickly, I check the table of contents, and there they were--two of the pictures I sent in! JOY!
Anyhow, I sit around and take a cab back home.
When I get home, I go through the novel with a fine-toothed comb for some good literary works to save for a rainy coffee-filled Saturday when...
Oh my.
It's a literary work. From me.
Did I even send that in? Because seriously, I don't recall sending that in. As in seriously. I DID NOT SEND THAT IN.
But I guess I did, because it's there. Unless someone got into my computer, stole one of my most sacred pieces of work and uploaded it for the entire goddamn High School to see. I'm queasy just thinking about it.
Gods.
Anyway, my grades were good. I think I got what I deserved. Sort of. Thanks Mr. Claro!
You know what? Summer has never taken this long to really "sink in" yet. But I'm not exactly sure of what summer sinking in should feel like, so perhaps I'm not fit to blog about it. But when I think about Xavier, I still feel the same way as I did when I used to go to class. It's strange.
Wow. I wanna kick my life in high gear but I can't.
Stupid YFC. Jeez.
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Preparing Dumplings and Strange Dreams
26th of March, Monday
I came to school with Lawrence originally intending to have a regular chat with Laoshi (wait, haven't I said that before?) but somehow, we got dragged down to the teachers' dining room to wrap some dumplings 包餃子.
Here's how things started. First, I found He, Ye and Lu laoshi and we began walking. Then He laoshi had to go to a meeting in the grade school, and Ye and Lu laoshi were headed to the infirmary where Wang laoshi (no, the other one. No, the other one! Hahahaha! Wang MeiRen... Cathy Ching) was, since she fell and twisted her ankle. Then Lu laoshi informs me that it's her birthday. Wow... what a gift.
So we get the infirmary, watch her get treated, then go up to find Lawrence. When I do find Lawrence, we first go to Mr. Reyes' and sneak into the ITC with him, talking about Enneagram. Then later, Ye, Lu and Wang laoshi arrive and we all go up for a while, then go back down and are ushered off to wrap dumplings.
We thought it'd be strange, but eventually, when we got there, I thought it'd be a lot of fun! Still, the room reeked of cram (it was raw pork with some other veggies) and I was getting lightheaded. First, laoshi sent us to the guard at Gate 1 to get some package for Ms. Yolly Reyes, so we did. Ika nga ni Lawrence, "Ginawa kaming alipin."
We went back and it turned out to be black vinegar 醋 (the kind they use for thick soups in Chinese restaurants) and garlic 蒜.
So as the Chinese teachers in there began to increase (by the exponent, by the minute), and they began setting up the necessary paraphernalia, we (Lawrence, myself, and the other teachers who didn't know how to whip up cram) were sent to peel the garlic. Then Lawrence begins to mock my lack of kitchen expertise (because I didn't know how to peel garlic. Yes, it happened to be garlic and not the gazillions of other things that I know how to peel in the kitchen) and rambles about how he wrapped dumplings in Xiamen, and how he was really good at it.
I ramble in Hokkien with Ms. Maria Go. Then she starts asking Lawrence these really personal questions, and eventually, she is enlightened about... things.
Lawrence was even going, "Parang ang dramatic." and when I ask him, "Do you think maybe you're the one who sees it as dramatic?" and he thinks and replies, "Yeah, baka, I dunno." along with that uniquely Lawrence-y look.
And the personal questions STILL don't stop! Oh well... maybe it's the Chinese way.
So then Ye laoshi sweeps by and sees how much we've peeled already, and tells us we've done enough, so we just finish up the current ... I just realized, I don't know the classifier noun for garlic. Clump? Tube?
I HAVE IT!!!! CLOVE!!!!!! A CLOVE OF GARLIC!!! HAHA! BOW TO THE GOD OF VOCABULARY!!! I am so arrogant tonight. I swear, it's the evening getting to me. I've been telling Kenn how good he is at giving orgasms for the last ten minutes over YM. Yes, I know how that sounds. And you're wrong. So you can lysol whatever sick image you've got in your heads right now off your mind, pick your minds out of the gutter, and somehow trust that there is a reasonable explanation for all of this.
Yep.
So anywhooo... we peel the remaining cloves of garlic and I head towards the side of the room where we're preparing rolls of that thing that people make noodles from (麵). First, they're long logs. Then they're cut up into circular blobs that Lawrence and I were tasked to correct them into circular shapes (圓) and then slightly press down (按) to form flat shapes which would then be the wrappers (皮) of the dumplings.
(on a side note: I have now achieved my dream of entering the teachers' cafeteria)
When we had done a fair share of the thing, we moved on to the next step, which would be the stuffing and wrapping. There were trays where one could arrange the wrappers, and a large bowl (碗) filled with the cram. The cram (a.k.a. "stuffing"/"filling" 餡 but I wanna use "cram") was composed of raw pork meat and some strange green vegetable that had been cut to fingernail-wide strips. Lu laoshi then taught me how to wrap. (SAYANG TALAGA I DIDN'T GET TO BRING MY CAMERA!!!! ANG OK SANA KUNG NAKUNAN KO YUN!!!! TAKTI!!!) First you just get the wrapper, place it in the center of your palm. Then you fit some cram (from the bowl, which had chopsticks to the side) into the center. Then you fold it up (折) and pinch (捏) at the center of the semi-circle you've made so that the two halves have a pinched area that sticks em together.
Then you the sides inward (this is the part I can't explain) until the entire thing is folded to the center, before you fold the two opposite ends inward and voila, you have a dumpling (餃).
I do this for some time, until we run out of wrappers and I walk over to the other table to ask for some when I see... Bro. Ang! In fact, the entire Grade School and High School Chinese Faculty all seem to be here. So I ask, "Do you guys have some more wrapper thingies?" And Bro. Ang chuckles, " 'Wrapper thingies'." Haha! I agree... it was funny. So he hands me some, I thank him and I go back. Continue.
Eventually, the teachers at our table increased, so I moved over to the one where Lawrence and Yelaoshi were working at. Ye laoshi then asks me to fold one for her, and she sees that the style Lu laoshi taught me was "different" so she taught me how she did it. This one involved everything up til pinching the center, then instead of folding the parts in, you pinch out a different part and continue doing so and then just push in the remaining parts at the back (don't try to make sense of that, I'm only putting it there to remind myself. You really won't get it. It must be shown with pictures). So I do so, and all of a sudden, someone (I think Ms. Lydia Uy) taps me on the shoulder and tells me, in Hokkien, "Eat some dumplings." Now, I'd chatted up some of the Hokkien teachers, but a lot more Mandarin was being used to reply, so you can just imagine my pleasant surprise when, after I asked, in Hokkien, "Are there already cooked ones?", one of the older teachers who I think I knew by face back in Grade School, replies, "There are. Just get some from that pan over there." Hokkien galore!
So then we start eating, and then wrap a few more with the new cram, which is completely vegetarian.
(Another side note: When I asked, Ms. Lydia Uy replied that the new veggie cram indeed had peanuts, similar or identical to the cram used in lumpia (潤餅). I then asked how to say "peanut" in Hokkien. It was then that I learned that "peanut" is called "tho tau" (土豆), which is the informal word for "potato" in Mandarin. This apparently isn't a southern dialect thing, as in Cantonese, peanut is "faa saang" (花生), with the same characters as in Mandarin.)
That was the viand, so the beverage was some tasteless (淡) lugaw. There wasn't any sugar either. Waaah! It sucked. No better drink than water. But the dumplings were good. 4 stars out of 5. See, prior to the actual cooking of the dumplings, we were discussing on whether to boil (熬), steam (蒸) or fry (炒) them. It turns out, there's this completely new technique that I'd never heard of called "steam-frying" which involves this teflon-pan and minimal amonts of oil, plus a large glass cover, provided by Yu zhuren.
Now, see, the dumplings were hot, and soft--two things I do not like in my dumplings. Call it my Cantonese instincts taking over, but honestly, I love my dumplings deep-friend to crisp, golden perfection. Not squishy, soggy and semi-translucent. Oh well, I suppose it's healthier.
Eventually, we finished and He laoshi began to speak with us. It was interesting, but she finally explained to me why I should follow my heart when it comes to taking a course. It was cool. I left later on.
27th - 28th of March, Tuesday to Wednesday
Today, I had quite a strange dream. It was first this year's Seniors' graduation, and there was some kind of commotion that I couldn't understand or see. I don't know why I was there. It also wasn't happening on the stage in the Sports Center. Rather, it was happening in a place that looked like a mix of between this open strip of land near the airport at Vancouver airport with the potted plants with lights wrapped around it and the strip of ground (vocab is sucking now) near the exit of the Sports Center proper, which leads to stairs. A mix of those two.
Then cut scene and it's my graduation. Dad did not attend (hmm... interesting because I was just talking about how I didn't feel he was there enough for me when I was a kid with Mom and 'Drew recently) and Mom was beside me but texting the entire time (another pet peeve of mine). We're seated at tables in that "narrow strip" and given food. The stage is right across me and it's evening. Then I stand and one of my friends (I can't remember who, although I think it was either Kenn or Martin V.) stood with me and accompanied me to the hallway in my dream that we were provided access to by that opening in the existing strip at the Sports Center.
We walk down a dimly-lit flight of stairs (not too deep, just about 8 or 9 steps) where there's this metal grating that allows me to see into the room in the right, which is really big, but also poorly lit. However, the lighting is done in a way that appeals to me, so I take out my camera (which for some reason, I have) and proceed to take a picture.
But in that room, there're several teens with one parent each who is helping them accomplish a sort of Science competition. Then one of them (who bears strange resemblance, although I think it's only cos I attempted to analogize his face with someone I knew and ended up merging their faces together, to one of the guys in DUWA. The main three guys in the "auditions" for FX? The one to the left most.) waves at me with an annoyed face, as if to say "Don't! Go away!"
I made a dismissive hand gesture, meaning to say "I'm not taking a pic of you!"
I suppose he misunderstood, because he stood up and walked up to me through the opening in the middle of the grates and said, strangely, in really gay sounding Mandarin,
"我看拍照還是有點兒不好意思." (Now, this phrase got me thinking of the times when I'd heard someone use "不好意思" to mean something other than "Oh, my, I'm sorry, my mistake." such as "I'm sorry, you can't do that." or something.) Then I replied, "
不是啦。。。 我剛纔 *does the dismissive hand gesture* 不是說 “我不管你。” 我是說 “我不拍你。” 啦." He replies, "Oh..." then let's me take the picture.
My friend and I go back outside to the ceremony's venue and we bump into... Jackie and Enrico (Fresnoza). Not sure if they know each other, but anyway... Oh! And he was wearing a brown wig. The wig's strands looked like that of an anime characters' (i.e. the "strands" looked more like meaty tentacles than fine strands).
Jackie does the "I don't really wanna do this but I'm being dragged into it" look, and Enrico elbows her and goes "Do it na." while looking at me.
Then he enters the area we were just in and leaves Jackie with me. Before she can say anything, I say, "Bye Jackie." and grab my friend and begin to turn.
Then she looks at me, and asks, "You're going?" And I say, "Yeah." Then as we walk further and further away... she yells from behind me, "The clock is ticking!"
Then Alex wakes me up.
Strange dream.
I came to school with Lawrence originally intending to have a regular chat with Laoshi (wait, haven't I said that before?) but somehow, we got dragged down to the teachers' dining room to wrap some dumplings 包餃子.
Here's how things started. First, I found He, Ye and Lu laoshi and we began walking. Then He laoshi had to go to a meeting in the grade school, and Ye and Lu laoshi were headed to the infirmary where Wang laoshi (no, the other one. No, the other one! Hahahaha! Wang MeiRen... Cathy Ching) was, since she fell and twisted her ankle. Then Lu laoshi informs me that it's her birthday. Wow... what a gift.
So we get the infirmary, watch her get treated, then go up to find Lawrence. When I do find Lawrence, we first go to Mr. Reyes' and sneak into the ITC with him, talking about Enneagram. Then later, Ye, Lu and Wang laoshi arrive and we all go up for a while, then go back down and are ushered off to wrap dumplings.
We thought it'd be strange, but eventually, when we got there, I thought it'd be a lot of fun! Still, the room reeked of cram (it was raw pork with some other veggies) and I was getting lightheaded. First, laoshi sent us to the guard at Gate 1 to get some package for Ms. Yolly Reyes, so we did. Ika nga ni Lawrence, "Ginawa kaming alipin."
We went back and it turned out to be black vinegar 醋 (the kind they use for thick soups in Chinese restaurants) and garlic 蒜.
So as the Chinese teachers in there began to increase (by the exponent, by the minute), and they began setting up the necessary paraphernalia, we (Lawrence, myself, and the other teachers who didn't know how to whip up cram) were sent to peel the garlic. Then Lawrence begins to mock my lack of kitchen expertise (because I didn't know how to peel garlic. Yes, it happened to be garlic and not the gazillions of other things that I know how to peel in the kitchen) and rambles about how he wrapped dumplings in Xiamen, and how he was really good at it.
I ramble in Hokkien with Ms. Maria Go. Then she starts asking Lawrence these really personal questions, and eventually, she is enlightened about... things.
Lawrence was even going, "Parang ang dramatic." and when I ask him, "Do you think maybe you're the one who sees it as dramatic?" and he thinks and replies, "Yeah, baka, I dunno." along with that uniquely Lawrence-y look.
And the personal questions STILL don't stop! Oh well... maybe it's the Chinese way.
So then Ye laoshi sweeps by and sees how much we've peeled already, and tells us we've done enough, so we just finish up the current ... I just realized, I don't know the classifier noun for garlic. Clump? Tube?
I HAVE IT!!!! CLOVE!!!!!! A CLOVE OF GARLIC!!! HAHA! BOW TO THE GOD OF VOCABULARY!!! I am so arrogant tonight. I swear, it's the evening getting to me. I've been telling Kenn how good he is at giving orgasms for the last ten minutes over YM. Yes, I know how that sounds. And you're wrong. So you can lysol whatever sick image you've got in your heads right now off your mind, pick your minds out of the gutter, and somehow trust that there is a reasonable explanation for all of this.
Yep.
So anywhooo... we peel the remaining cloves of garlic and I head towards the side of the room where we're preparing rolls of that thing that people make noodles from (麵). First, they're long logs. Then they're cut up into circular blobs that Lawrence and I were tasked to correct them into circular shapes (圓) and then slightly press down (按) to form flat shapes which would then be the wrappers (皮) of the dumplings.
(on a side note: I have now achieved my dream of entering the teachers' cafeteria)
When we had done a fair share of the thing, we moved on to the next step, which would be the stuffing and wrapping. There were trays where one could arrange the wrappers, and a large bowl (碗) filled with the cram. The cram (a.k.a. "stuffing"/"filling" 餡 but I wanna use "cram") was composed of raw pork meat and some strange green vegetable that had been cut to fingernail-wide strips. Lu laoshi then taught me how to wrap. (SAYANG TALAGA I DIDN'T GET TO BRING MY CAMERA!!!! ANG OK SANA KUNG NAKUNAN KO YUN!!!! TAKTI!!!) First you just get the wrapper, place it in the center of your palm. Then you fit some cram (from the bowl, which had chopsticks to the side) into the center. Then you fold it up (折) and pinch (捏) at the center of the semi-circle you've made so that the two halves have a pinched area that sticks em together.
Then you the sides inward (this is the part I can't explain) until the entire thing is folded to the center, before you fold the two opposite ends inward and voila, you have a dumpling (餃).
I do this for some time, until we run out of wrappers and I walk over to the other table to ask for some when I see... Bro. Ang! In fact, the entire Grade School and High School Chinese Faculty all seem to be here. So I ask, "Do you guys have some more wrapper thingies?" And Bro. Ang chuckles, " 'Wrapper thingies'." Haha! I agree... it was funny. So he hands me some, I thank him and I go back. Continue.
Eventually, the teachers at our table increased, so I moved over to the one where Lawrence and Yelaoshi were working at. Ye laoshi then asks me to fold one for her, and she sees that the style Lu laoshi taught me was "different" so she taught me how she did it. This one involved everything up til pinching the center, then instead of folding the parts in, you pinch out a different part and continue doing so and then just push in the remaining parts at the back (don't try to make sense of that, I'm only putting it there to remind myself. You really won't get it. It must be shown with pictures). So I do so, and all of a sudden, someone (I think Ms. Lydia Uy) taps me on the shoulder and tells me, in Hokkien, "Eat some dumplings." Now, I'd chatted up some of the Hokkien teachers, but a lot more Mandarin was being used to reply, so you can just imagine my pleasant surprise when, after I asked, in Hokkien, "Are there already cooked ones?", one of the older teachers who I think I knew by face back in Grade School, replies, "There are. Just get some from that pan over there." Hokkien galore!
So then we start eating, and then wrap a few more with the new cram, which is completely vegetarian.
(Another side note: When I asked, Ms. Lydia Uy replied that the new veggie cram indeed had peanuts, similar or identical to the cram used in lumpia (潤餅). I then asked how to say "peanut" in Hokkien. It was then that I learned that "peanut" is called "tho tau" (土豆), which is the informal word for "potato" in Mandarin. This apparently isn't a southern dialect thing, as in Cantonese, peanut is "faa saang" (花生), with the same characters as in Mandarin.)
That was the viand, so the beverage was some tasteless (淡) lugaw. There wasn't any sugar either. Waaah! It sucked. No better drink than water. But the dumplings were good. 4 stars out of 5. See, prior to the actual cooking of the dumplings, we were discussing on whether to boil (熬), steam (蒸) or fry (炒) them. It turns out, there's this completely new technique that I'd never heard of called "steam-frying" which involves this teflon-pan and minimal amonts of oil, plus a large glass cover, provided by Yu zhuren.
Now, see, the dumplings were hot, and soft--two things I do not like in my dumplings. Call it my Cantonese instincts taking over, but honestly, I love my dumplings deep-friend to crisp, golden perfection. Not squishy, soggy and semi-translucent. Oh well, I suppose it's healthier.
Eventually, we finished and He laoshi began to speak with us. It was interesting, but she finally explained to me why I should follow my heart when it comes to taking a course. It was cool. I left later on.
27th - 28th of March, Tuesday to Wednesday
Today, I had quite a strange dream. It was first this year's Seniors' graduation, and there was some kind of commotion that I couldn't understand or see. I don't know why I was there. It also wasn't happening on the stage in the Sports Center. Rather, it was happening in a place that looked like a mix of between this open strip of land near the airport at Vancouver airport with the potted plants with lights wrapped around it and the strip of ground (vocab is sucking now) near the exit of the Sports Center proper, which leads to stairs. A mix of those two.
Then cut scene and it's my graduation. Dad did not attend (hmm... interesting because I was just talking about how I didn't feel he was there enough for me when I was a kid with Mom and 'Drew recently) and Mom was beside me but texting the entire time (another pet peeve of mine). We're seated at tables in that "narrow strip" and given food. The stage is right across me and it's evening. Then I stand and one of my friends (I can't remember who, although I think it was either Kenn or Martin V.) stood with me and accompanied me to the hallway in my dream that we were provided access to by that opening in the existing strip at the Sports Center.
We walk down a dimly-lit flight of stairs (not too deep, just about 8 or 9 steps) where there's this metal grating that allows me to see into the room in the right, which is really big, but also poorly lit. However, the lighting is done in a way that appeals to me, so I take out my camera (which for some reason, I have) and proceed to take a picture.
But in that room, there're several teens with one parent each who is helping them accomplish a sort of Science competition. Then one of them (who bears strange resemblance, although I think it's only cos I attempted to analogize his face with someone I knew and ended up merging their faces together, to one of the guys in DUWA. The main three guys in the "auditions" for FX? The one to the left most.) waves at me with an annoyed face, as if to say "Don't! Go away!"
I made a dismissive hand gesture, meaning to say "I'm not taking a pic of you!"
I suppose he misunderstood, because he stood up and walked up to me through the opening in the middle of the grates and said, strangely, in really gay sounding Mandarin,
"我看拍照還是有點兒不好意思." (Now, this phrase got me thinking of the times when I'd heard someone use "不好意思" to mean something other than "Oh, my, I'm sorry, my mistake." such as "I'm sorry, you can't do that." or something.) Then I replied, "
不是啦。。。 我剛纔 *does the dismissive hand gesture* 不是說 “我不管你。” 我是說 “我不拍你。” 啦." He replies, "Oh..." then let's me take the picture.
My friend and I go back outside to the ceremony's venue and we bump into... Jackie and Enrico (Fresnoza). Not sure if they know each other, but anyway... Oh! And he was wearing a brown wig. The wig's strands looked like that of an anime characters' (i.e. the "strands" looked more like meaty tentacles than fine strands).
Jackie does the "I don't really wanna do this but I'm being dragged into it" look, and Enrico elbows her and goes "Do it na." while looking at me.
Then he enters the area we were just in and leaves Jackie with me. Before she can say anything, I say, "Bye Jackie." and grab my friend and begin to turn.
Then she looks at me, and asks, "You're going?" And I say, "Yeah." Then as we walk further and further away... she yells from behind me, "The clock is ticking!"
Then Alex wakes me up.
Strange dream.
Aaron Lines!
AARON'S CD COMES OUT ON THE 1ST OF MAY!!!!
I honestly hadn't realized how soon Aaron's CD was coming out. 1st of May my friends!!!!!!
Elsewhere, I've found that the Lights of My Hometown video isn't working for me, but on the plus side...
Aaron Lines - Lets Get Drunk & Fight
Add to My Profile More Videos
I have found a clip of Aaron Lines singing a Tim McGraw cover--"Let's Get Drunk and Fight"
Doesn't sound very Aaron-y, eh? I think someone's about to shed his image as "ballad-boy".
Elsewhere, I also found...
THE LINES DEN!!!! It's an amazing fansite with actual video content! One vid's of Aaron singing Seeing Things at the CCMA's, and the other's of him singing Christmas Time (who knows that song?) at an outdoor event during... Christmas. Pleasant song.
Condolences to my friends. :( Things have not been easy lately.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
無法忘記 不知道我該如何哭泣
不知道如何欺騙自己 是否知道只有妳
無法忘記 是否所有的點點滴滴
和那些醉人卻心痛的故事
就在我儘情哭過之後 我就能入睡後忘記
只怕夢到妳
其實以上歌詞毋適合... 我最渴望夢到你, 而此則剩唯見了你辦法.
無法忘記 是否所有的點點滴滴
和那些醉人卻心痛的故事
就在我儘情哭過之後 我就能入睡後忘記
只怕夢到妳
其實以上歌詞毋適合... 我最渴望夢到你, 而此則剩唯見了你辦法.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
命裏無時, 莫強求
It's been a while since I've blogged. Ever since summer kicked in, I have just been completely lax.
It's actually a most welcome change, compared to those days when I had school and I'd go nuts over the sheer amount of crap that I had to do.
Let me see... what things have I not yet blogged about that I must:
- Mr. Claro and Lani Misalucha 3/17
- Trip to Ongpin with Dad! Yes, for the second time ever in my life (i know, I'm a shame to the Chinese community), I went to Ongpin last Sunday... 3/18
- Subsequently, I got Chinese CDs! (Music, DVD, DVD Music... more on that later)
- World BEX with Mom 3/18
- The Emil Chau Concert (yes, I know! At the last minute, I was allowed to go!) 3/19
- Dragon Fable 3/21
- Translation for Dad 3/20-22
- GRADES!!!! 3/23
- Trips to Xavier with Lawrence and Ye laoshi for Chinese and stuff.
- Uncle Jake comes home! 3/24
3/17 - Present
Mr. Claro has been obsessed with someone named Lani Misalucha. On the night of the Prom (which I didn't attend), he left halfway to attend her concert. At first, the name Lani Misalucha was once just this little detail in my memory from 3 years ago. She had a concert here once. I didn't attend it, but I know about it because there was this large poster hung up above the general area where our office was. Then she had ANOTHER one called "The Repeat".
Mr. Claro sent me a song of hers called "Very Special Love" back then, which sounds like a corny love song. But these days, who cares about lyrics? It's all about the beat. Or the tune. Or whatever. Then today (24th), he sent me Queen of the Night, which is just... well, he was right when he said that I ought to hear her "belt". AMAZING.
3/18/07, Sunday
So! Trip to Ongpin. See, I once went there back in the seventh grade to buy a lantern for Chinese class. You see, I was a lazy arse that didn't wanna work hard for anything (thank God that's slowly going away), so I just went there with Manong Lino (our ooooold driver, who retired just before I entered into H2). He accompanied me over this bridge where we entered a shop and bought the lantern, then left. I still have the tail of one of the lanterns near my bedside.
This time, it was Dad and I. Quite fun, but my lower legs were getting cramps from all the walking. We went to several video/music CD shops so I could scout around for potentially good CDs unavailable back in Metro Manila. Eventually, we decided on 陳慧琳's STYLISH INDEX, 王力宏's 蓋世英雄 DVD, the soundtrack for 玻璃之城, the triple disc 孫燕姿 CＤ that honestly only read 完美的一天 but contained music from 這一刻 and Stefanie, 光良's 童話, and 黎明's 眼睛想旅行. Quite a collection, but pretty much completely worth it, except for the 陳慧琳 CD which did not contain audio files but something like a -1 or Karaoke version of the Stylish Index music. In short, I got music videos with no Kelly. And I think they were all 100-150 a piece, except the DVD which was like 350. Hooray for Ongpin prices!
The songs that really struck me were 手機留言 by 光良, 我忘了 by 孫燕姿, and... to be continued after the Emil Chau concert!
Elsewhere, we also went into 嶺南 for lunch, and the food was okay, although the chicken wasn't cooked very well. The soup wasn't bad, though. When we went to 聊應齋, Dad and I started debating in Taishanese if I should ask the lady how Kikiam was written. She seemed to pick up (she was Hokkien) though, because she asked, "sia mi tai zi?" (what's the matter?) and I told her. She wrote it down on half a calendar sheet, saying it was "kue-keng". Chicken something. I'll have to go scrounge up that piece of paper.
When we left, we picked mom up at her mom's place where he talked a bit, then went to the World BEX thing at the WTC. Dad and Mom had already apparently gone there yesterday, but mom wasn't done looking around yet, so she and I went, and Dad went home because he was beat.
Mom and I only finished one fourth of the entire place, but I had a bit of fun taking flyers and swatches and credit cards. At this one place, forgot what it was called, they were advertising digital designs plastered in a special way instead of wallpaper. I thought some of the zany designs were absolutely wicked. Mom didn't like them though.
The lady at the store (本地人) heard mom and me in that one snippet of the conversation that we were talking in Hokkien about why I thought we should put it there, should we ever renovate. The lady handed us one of the flyers and we discussed a bit. It was fun! And then when I came back later, I heard who I assumed to be her son speaking in Hokkien (sounded off though. Not "authentic". And don't tell me it's the third-generation thing. My friends are living proof that that isn't true.). I found it interesting.
When we got home, we watched Curse of the Golden Flower (滿城盡帶黃金甲). It was a typical Chinese-era movie, wherein everyone dies. Kind of like The House of Flying Daggers. I honestly didn't like it.
3/19/07
I was with Lawrence and Laoshi when she suddenly walks into the workroom and comes out with two student tickets for the concert. My mouth just dropped open. I was literally speechless. I couldn't believe my luck! EMIL CHAU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't have anyone to come with me, though, so that was one ticket wasted.
Mom and Dad came by to pick me up at about 5:30. We left 5:40 and got there 6:30 (it was in PICC). I hurriedly went and lined up. The seats (and subsequently, the queues for entrance) were split into Balcony and Orchestra. If you've been to the PICC, you should understand that Balcony means the two elevated places off to the side, and Orchestra would be the flat piece of land right in front of the stage. What a view it must have been! Char and her mom (I think) got Orchestra, and the seats I got from laoshi were Balcony.
While queuing up, there was this old Hokkien woman, with her daughter and granddaughter, screaming her head off. What's worse, she had that annoying mindset that she would come across as more refined or upper-class if she used Mandarin. Very poorly accented, too. Her daughter, in her 30's, was speaking in Hokkien, but Philippine-style (i.e. interspersed with English nouns and Filipino particles). Eventually, she caved and started speaking in equally poorly accented Mandarin. The granddaughter was typical 3rd Gen Metro Manila Hokkien--speaking in Filipino only. Eventually, the loud Hokkien woman was questioned by her granddaughter as to why she was so loud. She replied, "那就是本來的我." Oh please. Honestly, you could've mistaken her for a Hong Konger in that queue--bad Mandarin, bad manners, etc...
On the plus side, though, I heard loads and loads of 3rd Gen Hokkien speaking in straight Hokkien. When we entered and sat down, there was this group of girls, no more than 18 years old, speaking straight Hokkien. I mean Hokkien, Hokkien, not Taiwanese.
Beside me, this lady who identified herself as Linda Wong sat down and started talking to me (in Mandarin no less). This annoyed me. A lot.
Then she asked me what school I studied in, and when I said XS, she was all "不會啊! 光啟的學生只會說閩南話! 不會說國語!" This angered me even more. It turns out, she was an ICAn and her brothers were Xaverian. How can she NOT know that Mandarin is taught in Xavier? Silly woman. Then she later has the gall to ask me to ask my parents to give her a ride until she can find a cab. I mean, c'mon! The nerve! And then she starts asking really personal stuff. Jeez.
Anyway, so from the 下午七時入場 stipulated in the ticket, we ended up beginning at 9:00, where there were all these other presentations before the concert. Turns out, it was sort of like a homecoming, too.
So Emil comes out, and plays a set of wonderful, well-know and well-loved hits of his throughout the years, including 愛相隨 (which was the theme of the concert, i.e. celebration of our being Chinese. I could write entire discourses on how they're not celebrating being Chinese simply by using Mandarin, but I'll spare you that pain), 朋友, 有故事的人, 寂寞的眼, 傷心的歌, 怕黑, 擺渡人的歌, 最真的夢, 親親我的寶貝, 新天長地久, 有沒有一首歌會讓你想起我, 風雨無阻, 花心. Covers of existing songs include 甜秘密, 彎彎的月亮, 忙與盲, and 浪子心聲. Now the last one, 浪子心聲 was originally a Sammy Hui (one of the oldest, most celebrated names in the Canto-pop industry, for those not in the know, and one of the few artists who've sung songs in colloquial Cantonese, instead of literary Chinese) and also covered by Andy Lau. It is from this song that I take my title.
Here're the lyrics:
難分真與假 人面多險詐
幾許有共享榮華 簷畔水滴不分差
無知井裏蛙 徒望添聲價
空得意目光如麻 誰料金屋變敗瓦
命裏有時終須有 命裏無時莫強求
雷聲風雨打 何用多驚怕
心公正白壁無暇 行善積德最樂也
人比海裏沙 毋用多牽掛
君可見漫天落霞 名利息間似霧化
Waaaah... *cries*
Reminds me of a certain... something. Situation. Basta.
So he sang one Hokkien song, 一雙小雨傘, and several Cantonese ones, such as 彎的月亮, 浪子心聲, and 新天長地久. It was then, right after Emil sang 浪子心聲, and he had asked, "好耶?" And I yelled back, enthusiastically, "好!" that Linda Wong, to my side, asked, "You know Cantonese, too?" to which i replied, "I AM Cantonese!". We started talking in Cantonese later, but I remained reserved. Emil Chau did an acapella with some dudes (two of which happened to be brothers Sean and Sherwin Su from XS) and facilitated a proposal. Then a duet with this girl who could really... really... sing. It was one really wicked concert.
Afterwards, I found Lu laoshi and her friend and we journeyed backstage to meet him. Well, let me tell you--we were ONE ARM AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!! Starstruck indeed. Then just before we were about to get the autograph, the manager lady kicked us out. CRAP IT ALL!!!!
So we left all crestfallen and stuff and sat outside while mom and dad came to fetch me. It ended up with us giving them a ride back to Crownpointe, San Juan, where they lived. It was fairly near where we were anyway. On the way, we were talking a lot, and I heard Lu laoshi speak Hokkien with my parents. Sounded almost Taiwanese, but quite understandable. I realized the difference between the way she spoke it, and the way, say, Xu laoshi spoke it. Xu laoshi's Hokkien sounds very much like the variant we speak here. Straight from Xiamen, e.
The ride home was scary. All the way from PICC, Dad had been driving kind of dangerously, swerving and sudden-breaking. Almost bumped several people. I think he was sleepy.
When we got home (it was around 1:30), Dad told me he was quite surprised that I could speak Mandarin so fluently. Now it was my turn to be surprised at this, since I'd already told them several times I could speak it fluently. I guess they had to hear it to believe it. So now maybe they won't worry so much about my Mandarin and allow me to focus more on our home dialects.
Char and I were completely dazed the morning after. While chatting, we downloaded all the songs I jotted down. YAY!!!! The songs I really love are 傷心的歌 (無法忘記 是否所有的點點滴滴 和那些醉人卻心痛的故事 就在我儘情哭過之後 我就能入睡後忘記 只怕夢到妳 我不要 不要 不要 不要夢到妳), and 親親我的寶貝 (啦啦呼啦啦啦呼啦啦 還在上面寫你的名字 啦啦呼啦啦啦呼啦啦 最後還要平安回來 回來告訴你哪一切 親親我的寶貝).
3/21 - Present
I have been obsessed with this online game recently. Quite similar to Adventure Quest. It's called Dragon Fable. I think Christian's been playing this for a while now. I'm not too sure if Dragon Fable has server caps, but I have been able to log in without trouble for three straight days now. Perhaps not.
Anyhow, my character is a mage, and things have been tying along quite nicely. The magic of the mage is amazing. There's a skill called "Mage's Fury" that allows you to hit all opponents in the battle map. A Godsend for when you're high in mana, low in life, fighting multiple opponents and sleep or blind can't cover it, and your shield has been used up.
There's a skill called Root that doesn't seem to have any use though. It's apparently supposed to prevent an opponent from running away. I have never seen any opponent run away, nor does my character have that option. So... you know.
Fun! You should play it. Graphics are better than that of Adventure Quest... which reminds me that the Quest for the Earth Orb is now up, so I better check that out soon.
3/20-22
Dad recently sent me a document to translate from Chinese to English. I have one word: Torture.
Not only was it chock full of manufacturing and engineering terms, it was written completely in Classical Chinese; that means that the Chinese used wasn't the 白話 characters-match-spoken-language variety, it was a highly abbreviated script where certain implied nouns were omitted. You know how a 成語 is written right? Four characters, but the explanation in 白話 can go on for sentences? Think that, but as a 1 and a half page document.
It took me the whole day to translate that thing, and several parts were still fuzzy. I mean, what on Earth is does 空行程次數? Empty Travel Route Frequency??? I mean, Hell! And then you have even shorter, more ambiguous stuff like 段料 (literally, segment material), 棒料 (fine/sturdy/cudgel material), and 剪料 (cut material). I mean, does "cut material" mean material you have cut or material that you use to cut? GRRRR!!!!!
I consulted Ye laoshi and whaddyaknow! It worked out! She's an engineering graduate! She identified ALL of the terms and explained them to satisfaction! Things just work out great when you ask, don't they?
3/23
Now let's talk about my Grades. I went to school fully intending just to hang with Lawrence and laoshi, but then I saw my grades posted at the patio, and I went to have a look. Here're the important ones:
Math: 89 (HAH!!!! IN YOUR FACE, FAMILY!)
Filipino: 87
Everything Else: 88 and above
NOOOOOO!!!!! I've lost honors because of FILIPINO!!!! DAMN LIFE!
. . .
Then I went to Mr. Claro and appealed. We negotiated, he agreed.
HONORS, BITCHES!!!!!
Undated:
Almost everyday since break began (and even before that: Thursday (3/15/07), Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday (3/23)), I've been hanging with laoshi and Lawrence to study Chinese. Great fun. Laoshi has this funny tendency to spill stories like an ocean, but they're the best. FUN!!!
When did I start these Chinese sessions with laoshi and Lawrence anyway? Even Lawrence and I don't remember anymore, because we've been having so much fun going to them.
3/24
Uncle Jake came back from the States. We went to Gloria Maris to eat. Big mistake. SO MANY PEOPLE!!! All of them showed up after eight. Why?
Xavier Graduation! Yes, the H4 are officially gone, and I saw nearly a dozen Xaverian families with 17 y.o. looking boys in barongs (some even with medals) enter the place. You should've seen the reservation board there--full to the point that some of the letters almost seemed to be falling off the thing.
PICTURES COMING SOON!!!
It's actually a most welcome change, compared to those days when I had school and I'd go nuts over the sheer amount of crap that I had to do.
Let me see... what things have I not yet blogged about that I must:
- Mr. Claro and Lani Misalucha 3/17
- Trip to Ongpin with Dad! Yes, for the second time ever in my life (i know, I'm a shame to the Chinese community), I went to Ongpin last Sunday... 3/18
- Subsequently, I got Chinese CDs! (Music, DVD, DVD Music... more on that later)
- World BEX with Mom 3/18
- The Emil Chau Concert (yes, I know! At the last minute, I was allowed to go!) 3/19
- Dragon Fable 3/21
- Translation for Dad 3/20-22
- GRADES!!!! 3/23
- Trips to Xavier with Lawrence and Ye laoshi for Chinese and stuff.
- Uncle Jake comes home! 3/24
3/17 - Present
Mr. Claro has been obsessed with someone named Lani Misalucha. On the night of the Prom (which I didn't attend), he left halfway to attend her concert. At first, the name Lani Misalucha was once just this little detail in my memory from 3 years ago. She had a concert here once. I didn't attend it, but I know about it because there was this large poster hung up above the general area where our office was. Then she had ANOTHER one called "The Repeat".
Mr. Claro sent me a song of hers called "Very Special Love" back then, which sounds like a corny love song. But these days, who cares about lyrics? It's all about the beat. Or the tune. Or whatever. Then today (24th), he sent me Queen of the Night, which is just... well, he was right when he said that I ought to hear her "belt". AMAZING.
3/18/07, Sunday
So! Trip to Ongpin. See, I once went there back in the seventh grade to buy a lantern for Chinese class. You see, I was a lazy arse that didn't wanna work hard for anything (thank God that's slowly going away), so I just went there with Manong Lino (our ooooold driver, who retired just before I entered into H2). He accompanied me over this bridge where we entered a shop and bought the lantern, then left. I still have the tail of one of the lanterns near my bedside.
This time, it was Dad and I. Quite fun, but my lower legs were getting cramps from all the walking. We went to several video/music CD shops so I could scout around for potentially good CDs unavailable back in Metro Manila. Eventually, we decided on 陳慧琳's STYLISH INDEX, 王力宏's 蓋世英雄 DVD, the soundtrack for 玻璃之城, the triple disc 孫燕姿 CＤ that honestly only read 完美的一天 but contained music from 這一刻 and Stefanie, 光良's 童話, and 黎明's 眼睛想旅行. Quite a collection, but pretty much completely worth it, except for the 陳慧琳 CD which did not contain audio files but something like a -1 or Karaoke version of the Stylish Index music. In short, I got music videos with no Kelly. And I think they were all 100-150 a piece, except the DVD which was like 350. Hooray for Ongpin prices!
The songs that really struck me were 手機留言 by 光良, 我忘了 by 孫燕姿, and... to be continued after the Emil Chau concert!
Elsewhere, we also went into 嶺南 for lunch, and the food was okay, although the chicken wasn't cooked very well. The soup wasn't bad, though. When we went to 聊應齋, Dad and I started debating in Taishanese if I should ask the lady how Kikiam was written. She seemed to pick up (she was Hokkien) though, because she asked, "sia mi tai zi?" (what's the matter?) and I told her. She wrote it down on half a calendar sheet, saying it was "kue-keng". Chicken something. I'll have to go scrounge up that piece of paper.
When we left, we picked mom up at her mom's place where he talked a bit, then went to the World BEX thing at the WTC. Dad and Mom had already apparently gone there yesterday, but mom wasn't done looking around yet, so she and I went, and Dad went home because he was beat.
Mom and I only finished one fourth of the entire place, but I had a bit of fun taking flyers and swatches and credit cards. At this one place, forgot what it was called, they were advertising digital designs plastered in a special way instead of wallpaper. I thought some of the zany designs were absolutely wicked. Mom didn't like them though.
The lady at the store (本地人) heard mom and me in that one snippet of the conversation that we were talking in Hokkien about why I thought we should put it there, should we ever renovate. The lady handed us one of the flyers and we discussed a bit. It was fun! And then when I came back later, I heard who I assumed to be her son speaking in Hokkien (sounded off though. Not "authentic". And don't tell me it's the third-generation thing. My friends are living proof that that isn't true.). I found it interesting.
When we got home, we watched Curse of the Golden Flower (滿城盡帶黃金甲). It was a typical Chinese-era movie, wherein everyone dies. Kind of like The House of Flying Daggers. I honestly didn't like it.
3/19/07
I was with Lawrence and Laoshi when she suddenly walks into the workroom and comes out with two student tickets for the concert. My mouth just dropped open. I was literally speechless. I couldn't believe my luck! EMIL CHAU!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't have anyone to come with me, though, so that was one ticket wasted.
Mom and Dad came by to pick me up at about 5:30. We left 5:40 and got there 6:30 (it was in PICC). I hurriedly went and lined up. The seats (and subsequently, the queues for entrance) were split into Balcony and Orchestra. If you've been to the PICC, you should understand that Balcony means the two elevated places off to the side, and Orchestra would be the flat piece of land right in front of the stage. What a view it must have been! Char and her mom (I think) got Orchestra, and the seats I got from laoshi were Balcony.
While queuing up, there was this old Hokkien woman, with her daughter and granddaughter, screaming her head off. What's worse, she had that annoying mindset that she would come across as more refined or upper-class if she used Mandarin. Very poorly accented, too. Her daughter, in her 30's, was speaking in Hokkien, but Philippine-style (i.e. interspersed with English nouns and Filipino particles). Eventually, she caved and started speaking in equally poorly accented Mandarin. The granddaughter was typical 3rd Gen Metro Manila Hokkien--speaking in Filipino only. Eventually, the loud Hokkien woman was questioned by her granddaughter as to why she was so loud. She replied, "那就是本來的我." Oh please. Honestly, you could've mistaken her for a Hong Konger in that queue--bad Mandarin, bad manners, etc...
On the plus side, though, I heard loads and loads of 3rd Gen Hokkien speaking in straight Hokkien. When we entered and sat down, there was this group of girls, no more than 18 years old, speaking straight Hokkien. I mean Hokkien, Hokkien, not Taiwanese.
Beside me, this lady who identified herself as Linda Wong sat down and started talking to me (in Mandarin no less). This annoyed me. A lot.
Then she asked me what school I studied in, and when I said XS, she was all "不會啊! 光啟的學生只會說閩南話! 不會說國語!" This angered me even more. It turns out, she was an ICAn and her brothers were Xaverian. How can she NOT know that Mandarin is taught in Xavier? Silly woman. Then she later has the gall to ask me to ask my parents to give her a ride until she can find a cab. I mean, c'mon! The nerve! And then she starts asking really personal stuff. Jeez.
Anyway, so from the 下午七時入場 stipulated in the ticket, we ended up beginning at 9:00, where there were all these other presentations before the concert. Turns out, it was sort of like a homecoming, too.
So Emil comes out, and plays a set of wonderful, well-know and well-loved hits of his throughout the years, including 愛相隨 (which was the theme of the concert, i.e. celebration of our being Chinese. I could write entire discourses on how they're not celebrating being Chinese simply by using Mandarin, but I'll spare you that pain), 朋友, 有故事的人, 寂寞的眼, 傷心的歌, 怕黑, 擺渡人的歌, 最真的夢, 親親我的寶貝, 新天長地久, 有沒有一首歌會讓你想起我, 風雨無阻, 花心. Covers of existing songs include 甜秘密, 彎彎的月亮, 忙與盲, and 浪子心聲. Now the last one, 浪子心聲 was originally a Sammy Hui (one of the oldest, most celebrated names in the Canto-pop industry, for those not in the know, and one of the few artists who've sung songs in colloquial Cantonese, instead of literary Chinese) and also covered by Andy Lau. It is from this song that I take my title.
Here're the lyrics:
難分真與假 人面多險詐
幾許有共享榮華 簷畔水滴不分差
無知井裏蛙 徒望添聲價
空得意目光如麻 誰料金屋變敗瓦
命裏有時終須有 命裏無時莫強求
雷聲風雨打 何用多驚怕
心公正白壁無暇 行善積德最樂也
人比海裏沙 毋用多牽掛
君可見漫天落霞 名利息間似霧化
Waaaah... *cries*
Reminds me of a certain... something. Situation. Basta.
So he sang one Hokkien song, 一雙小雨傘, and several Cantonese ones, such as 彎的月亮, 浪子心聲, and 新天長地久. It was then, right after Emil sang 浪子心聲, and he had asked, "好耶?" And I yelled back, enthusiastically, "好!" that Linda Wong, to my side, asked, "You know Cantonese, too?" to which i replied, "I AM Cantonese!". We started talking in Cantonese later, but I remained reserved. Emil Chau did an acapella with some dudes (two of which happened to be brothers Sean and Sherwin Su from XS) and facilitated a proposal. Then a duet with this girl who could really... really... sing. It was one really wicked concert.
Afterwards, I found Lu laoshi and her friend and we journeyed backstage to meet him. Well, let me tell you--we were ONE ARM AWAY FROM HIM!!!!!!! Starstruck indeed. Then just before we were about to get the autograph, the manager lady kicked us out. CRAP IT ALL!!!!
So we left all crestfallen and stuff and sat outside while mom and dad came to fetch me. It ended up with us giving them a ride back to Crownpointe, San Juan, where they lived. It was fairly near where we were anyway. On the way, we were talking a lot, and I heard Lu laoshi speak Hokkien with my parents. Sounded almost Taiwanese, but quite understandable. I realized the difference between the way she spoke it, and the way, say, Xu laoshi spoke it. Xu laoshi's Hokkien sounds very much like the variant we speak here. Straight from Xiamen, e.
The ride home was scary. All the way from PICC, Dad had been driving kind of dangerously, swerving and sudden-breaking. Almost bumped several people. I think he was sleepy.
When we got home (it was around 1:30), Dad told me he was quite surprised that I could speak Mandarin so fluently. Now it was my turn to be surprised at this, since I'd already told them several times I could speak it fluently. I guess they had to hear it to believe it. So now maybe they won't worry so much about my Mandarin and allow me to focus more on our home dialects.
Char and I were completely dazed the morning after. While chatting, we downloaded all the songs I jotted down. YAY!!!! The songs I really love are 傷心的歌 (無法忘記 是否所有的點點滴滴 和那些醉人卻心痛的故事 就在我儘情哭過之後 我就能入睡後忘記 只怕夢到妳 我不要 不要 不要 不要夢到妳), and 親親我的寶貝 (啦啦呼啦啦啦呼啦啦 還在上面寫你的名字 啦啦呼啦啦啦呼啦啦 最後還要平安回來 回來告訴你哪一切 親親我的寶貝).
3/21 - Present
I have been obsessed with this online game recently. Quite similar to Adventure Quest. It's called Dragon Fable. I think Christian's been playing this for a while now. I'm not too sure if Dragon Fable has server caps, but I have been able to log in without trouble for three straight days now. Perhaps not.
Anyhow, my character is a mage, and things have been tying along quite nicely. The magic of the mage is amazing. There's a skill called "Mage's Fury" that allows you to hit all opponents in the battle map. A Godsend for when you're high in mana, low in life, fighting multiple opponents and sleep or blind can't cover it, and your shield has been used up.
There's a skill called Root that doesn't seem to have any use though. It's apparently supposed to prevent an opponent from running away. I have never seen any opponent run away, nor does my character have that option. So... you know.
Fun! You should play it. Graphics are better than that of Adventure Quest... which reminds me that the Quest for the Earth Orb is now up, so I better check that out soon.
3/20-22
Dad recently sent me a document to translate from Chinese to English. I have one word: Torture.
Not only was it chock full of manufacturing and engineering terms, it was written completely in Classical Chinese; that means that the Chinese used wasn't the 白話 characters-match-spoken-language variety, it was a highly abbreviated script where certain implied nouns were omitted. You know how a 成語 is written right? Four characters, but the explanation in 白話 can go on for sentences? Think that, but as a 1 and a half page document.
It took me the whole day to translate that thing, and several parts were still fuzzy. I mean, what on Earth is does 空行程次數? Empty Travel Route Frequency??? I mean, Hell! And then you have even shorter, more ambiguous stuff like 段料 (literally, segment material), 棒料 (fine/sturdy/cudgel material), and 剪料 (cut material). I mean, does "cut material" mean material you have cut or material that you use to cut? GRRRR!!!!!
I consulted Ye laoshi and whaddyaknow! It worked out! She's an engineering graduate! She identified ALL of the terms and explained them to satisfaction! Things just work out great when you ask, don't they?
3/23
Now let's talk about my Grades. I went to school fully intending just to hang with Lawrence and laoshi, but then I saw my grades posted at the patio, and I went to have a look. Here're the important ones:
Math: 89 (HAH!!!! IN YOUR FACE, FAMILY!)
Filipino: 87
Everything Else: 88 and above
NOOOOOO!!!!! I've lost honors because of FILIPINO!!!! DAMN LIFE!
. . .
Then I went to Mr. Claro and appealed. We negotiated, he agreed.
HONORS, BITCHES!!!!!
Undated:
Almost everyday since break began (and even before that: Thursday (3/15/07), Friday, Monday, Tuesday, Friday (3/23)), I've been hanging with laoshi and Lawrence to study Chinese. Great fun. Laoshi has this funny tendency to spill stories like an ocean, but they're the best. FUN!!!
When did I start these Chinese sessions with laoshi and Lawrence anyway? Even Lawrence and I don't remember anymore, because we've been having so much fun going to them.
3/24
Uncle Jake came back from the States. We went to Gloria Maris to eat. Big mistake. SO MANY PEOPLE!!! All of them showed up after eight. Why?
Xavier Graduation! Yes, the H4 are officially gone, and I saw nearly a dozen Xaverian families with 17 y.o. looking boys in barongs (some even with medals) enter the place. You should've seen the reservation board there--full to the point that some of the letters almost seemed to be falling off the thing.
PICTURES COMING SOON!!!
Thursday, March 15, 2007
We've Reached A Milestone
This post marks 101 entries in canadianautumn. I think it should be special.
And special it is.
Recorded here will be one of the oldest griefs and most contemporary joys of this era in my life.
7:40 - 8:55 am
Mathematics, proctored by Ms. Priscilla Chang
Failed. This math test was evil. I was right--yesterday's Soc Sci test was some kind of macabre foreshadowing of today's events. I feel like I had the life force sucked out of me, then shoved down my throat, and extracted through my stomach. Paaaaiiiiinnnn...
But afterwards, things were quite light.
I dragged Lawrence over to Laoshi's so we could chat, and found Kenn already there.
We chatted a bit, then afterwards, Kenn had to leave and we chatted some more. Eventually, I decided that Lawrence had to start speaking, so we devised a way to make him speak. That is, have him pick one of two topics （很難忘的一件事 or 最喜歡的一個人) and discuss about it for five minutes. What he doesn't know, we correct. It felt good to see everything we'd been planning the entire fourth quarter come to fruition--but it's a pity that we only thought of it on the last day. In fact, Lawrence even said, "Why didn't we think of it before?"
Then he said... before he got to know me, his impression of me was someone very "mataray" (except when I smile). That took me by surprise. I've never thought of myself as mataray. I mean, jeez, I've exerted every effort to be as accomodating as I can, and it turns out that the first thing people think of me is as of some saucy, unapproachable, holier-than-thou skank that couldn't tell kind from cruel. Just great.
So elsewhere...
Lawrence and I go find Ms. Natonton and stress over Lawrence's little dilemma. Honestly, not a single human being alive has ever heard of the color "grayish brown". It was quite funny, really, but it seemed half of the Xaverian Teacher population were nakikiramay sa kanya. After exchanging vows of love (don't ask), we went upstairs to look for Mr. Santos and asked for help regarding the said color crisis. On the way, we bumped into (well, not really) (and this is gonna be really interesting and undertone-y for some Xaverians I know) Ms. Pusta and Mr. Perez sitting on the stairs together. Upon Ms. Natonton's query of whether or not they would be free "later", they replied, in unison, "No, not really, no." (UNDERTONEYNESS!!!!). Ms. Natonton declares that she doesn't love them, and we get to Mr. Santos' actual office. Here, I start up with the camwhoring again. It was just so nice. And then Ms. Natonton went all Nazi on the photos and deleted the ones she deemed "ugly". Right.
So we chased each other around a table and she eventually gave up and declared she hated me. Then I started taking more pictures, and eventually a video.
When we leave, we all go downstairs, decide where to meet (who knew? six hours later, I wouldn't be able to make it) and leave for lunch. We eat with Michael (Ilagan) and I leave again for the auditions.
*schwing*
After a quick sandwich lunch, I ran over to the football field so as to practice the song(s) and the piece in peace. I walked over to that long pathway thing and sang Way Back Into Love (yes, that Music & Lyrics theme song; the Hugh-Haley version) and Something More (Sugarland, people. Alexis will be so proud :p).
When I went over to the Lecture Hall though, Jherald (Gotauco, who has blue eyes, which I assume are contact lenses. I swear, the two of us had a conversation about it before, but for the life of me, I can't remember what the explanation for the gray-blue eyes are!) tells me to choose the song I'm more comfortable with (thus, Something More automatically wins). There was basically a division of phases, namely The Orientation, and the Audition Proper. The Orientation was... entertaining, what with all the yelling at someone named Jaime, who Mr. Legaspi branded as "common property", and Charles (Yee) obsessively drawing on the PowerPoint (yes, we had a powerpoint) (with completely laughable content (I mean who puts "makapal ang mukha" as a requirement for membership???), but somehow so very, very honest-to-good/badness).
The Audition was tough. They even bugged me about what club I wanted to join and things. I think the Jackie Approach to this problem was indeed the best (I'd picked up a few things from her over the years. Haha!)--say something honest but just completely solid that it renders them absolutely speechless. WHAHAHA!
We were also tasked to learn the Dance steps, which were just the dance moves to the chorus of the song they used in Duwa, those few weeks ago.
The monologue I prepared was Hamlet. Considering in the form, we were asked to prepare dramatic monologues, and this one was more sarcastic than anything (it was the "To be or not to be" part), I wasn't sure if it would be enough to get them through. Oh, and a little sidenote, I was the only present-year H3 that tried out. That's ridiculous! Jesus. Let me simmer for a while.
Anyhow, when I began my monologue, I did it fairly flawlessly until I got to "To sleep, perchance to dream." The succeeding words were, "Ay, there's the rub" but I blanked. Luckily for me, "To sleep, perchance to dream" sounded like ending words, and I was able to get away without too much scathing. But the interview before the monologue was also noteworthy. I think Charles was the one that asked me that if I was opening a club, why wouldn't I join it. I had to explain that I wasn't opening the club, I was pushing to have it opened (i.e. someone else would open it). Then he asked, "Isn't that hypocritical? I mean, where's the commitment.", to which I replied, "That's only because I don't think I can handle both FX and that club at the same time." which really answered all the questions.
If in the monologue, I was third, in the singing, I was second. I started singing Something More, when Ms. Lampa, bless her, interrupts and says, "Allen, could you sing a little louder? We really can't hear anything from here at the back. Good luck." And I sang (half of) my heart out. Pity though--I hadn't even gotten to a very good part in the song that involved hefty vocals when they called the next person.
Then we did the dance, to which I got somewhat lost, but on the third repetition for the chorus, was so into it that I was smiling while I was dancing. Now I know why that Raynard guy is always smiling when he dances. It's really... a different mode of expression. Something about the rhythm and the movement... I dunno.
Anyhow, we were asked to step outside while they deliberated, and I rediscovered Gate 3. Can I just say that the sunlight in that area is AMAZING at 3:45-ish in the afternoon? I started thinking of... things. Eventually, we were called back. Just before I entered the Lecture Hall, I saw Mr. Legaspi exit, yelling "Ikaw na bahala, a, Carlo." When we got in, I closed the door, and we began the eliminations.
We were informed that only 7 out of the 9 got accepted. So the first three people to my right get accepted, then one guy in red, i think his name was Vim or Vin, got rejected. And then the next two people on the far left got accepted. So then it was just the remaining three in the center. Then the guy to my immediate left gets accepted, so it's just me and this other guy whose name is Darrell or Darryl. I was kind of already expecting that I was the one who got rejected, and I had already been imagining what I would be doing next year now that I had been rejected. I mean, c'mon, bottom two, hello.
It was the biggest, most pleasant surprise when Carlo (I think that was his name, right?) said, "And the last person we accepted was... Allen. I'm sorry Darrell/Darryl." Major expulsion of pent-up breath there. He also said that "There were lots of other clubs out there."
I had to contest that statement. While there are heaps of other clubs, there is no other club like Stage FX.
Also, I heard Jherald, and even Mr. Legaspi during the orientation, ranting about people lacking commitment. I would also like to say, as proof to all and my self, that I am and will be committed to Stage FX. I am committed to the incessant meetings, the late nights--all the works. I am committed.
Just watch.
And special it is.
Recorded here will be one of the oldest griefs and most contemporary joys of this era in my life.
7:40 - 8:55 am
Mathematics, proctored by Ms. Priscilla Chang
Failed. This math test was evil. I was right--yesterday's Soc Sci test was some kind of macabre foreshadowing of today's events. I feel like I had the life force sucked out of me, then shoved down my throat, and extracted through my stomach. Paaaaiiiiinnnn...
But afterwards, things were quite light.
I dragged Lawrence over to Laoshi's so we could chat, and found Kenn already there.
We chatted a bit, then afterwards, Kenn had to leave and we chatted some more. Eventually, I decided that Lawrence had to start speaking, so we devised a way to make him speak. That is, have him pick one of two topics （很難忘的一件事 or 最喜歡的一個人) and discuss about it for five minutes. What he doesn't know, we correct. It felt good to see everything we'd been planning the entire fourth quarter come to fruition--but it's a pity that we only thought of it on the last day. In fact, Lawrence even said, "Why didn't we think of it before?"
Then he said... before he got to know me, his impression of me was someone very "mataray" (except when I smile). That took me by surprise. I've never thought of myself as mataray. I mean, jeez, I've exerted every effort to be as accomodating as I can, and it turns out that the first thing people think of me is as of some saucy, unapproachable, holier-than-thou skank that couldn't tell kind from cruel. Just great.
So elsewhere...
Lawrence and I go find Ms. Natonton and stress over Lawrence's little dilemma. Honestly, not a single human being alive has ever heard of the color "grayish brown". It was quite funny, really, but it seemed half of the Xaverian Teacher population were nakikiramay sa kanya. After exchanging vows of love (don't ask), we went upstairs to look for Mr. Santos and asked for help regarding the said color crisis. On the way, we bumped into (well, not really) (and this is gonna be really interesting and undertone-y for some Xaverians I know) Ms. Pusta and Mr. Perez sitting on the stairs together. Upon Ms. Natonton's query of whether or not they would be free "later", they replied, in unison, "No, not really, no." (UNDERTONEYNESS!!!!). Ms. Natonton declares that she doesn't love them, and we get to Mr. Santos' actual office. Here, I start up with the camwhoring again. It was just so nice. And then Ms. Natonton went all Nazi on the photos and deleted the ones she deemed "ugly". Right.
So we chased each other around a table and she eventually gave up and declared she hated me. Then I started taking more pictures, and eventually a video.
When we leave, we all go downstairs, decide where to meet (who knew? six hours later, I wouldn't be able to make it) and leave for lunch. We eat with Michael (Ilagan) and I leave again for the auditions.
*schwing*
After a quick sandwich lunch, I ran over to the football field so as to practice the song(s) and the piece in peace. I walked over to that long pathway thing and sang Way Back Into Love (yes, that Music & Lyrics theme song; the Hugh-Haley version) and Something More (Sugarland, people. Alexis will be so proud :p).
When I went over to the Lecture Hall though, Jherald (Gotauco, who has blue eyes, which I assume are contact lenses. I swear, the two of us had a conversation about it before, but for the life of me, I can't remember what the explanation for the gray-blue eyes are!) tells me to choose the song I'm more comfortable with (thus, Something More automatically wins). There was basically a division of phases, namely The Orientation, and the Audition Proper. The Orientation was... entertaining, what with all the yelling at someone named Jaime, who Mr. Legaspi branded as "common property", and Charles (Yee) obsessively drawing on the PowerPoint (yes, we had a powerpoint) (with completely laughable content (I mean who puts "makapal ang mukha" as a requirement for membership???), but somehow so very, very honest-to-good/badness).
The Audition was tough. They even bugged me about what club I wanted to join and things. I think the Jackie Approach to this problem was indeed the best (I'd picked up a few things from her over the years. Haha!)--say something honest but just completely solid that it renders them absolutely speechless. WHAHAHA!
We were also tasked to learn the Dance steps, which were just the dance moves to the chorus of the song they used in Duwa, those few weeks ago.
The monologue I prepared was Hamlet. Considering in the form, we were asked to prepare dramatic monologues, and this one was more sarcastic than anything (it was the "To be or not to be" part), I wasn't sure if it would be enough to get them through. Oh, and a little sidenote, I was the only present-year H3 that tried out. That's ridiculous! Jesus. Let me simmer for a while.
Anyhow, when I began my monologue, I did it fairly flawlessly until I got to "To sleep, perchance to dream." The succeeding words were, "Ay, there's the rub" but I blanked. Luckily for me, "To sleep, perchance to dream" sounded like ending words, and I was able to get away without too much scathing. But the interview before the monologue was also noteworthy. I think Charles was the one that asked me that if I was opening a club, why wouldn't I join it. I had to explain that I wasn't opening the club, I was pushing to have it opened (i.e. someone else would open it). Then he asked, "Isn't that hypocritical? I mean, where's the commitment.", to which I replied, "That's only because I don't think I can handle both FX and that club at the same time." which really answered all the questions.
If in the monologue, I was third, in the singing, I was second. I started singing Something More, when Ms. Lampa, bless her, interrupts and says, "Allen, could you sing a little louder? We really can't hear anything from here at the back. Good luck." And I sang (half of) my heart out. Pity though--I hadn't even gotten to a very good part in the song that involved hefty vocals when they called the next person.
Then we did the dance, to which I got somewhat lost, but on the third repetition for the chorus, was so into it that I was smiling while I was dancing. Now I know why that Raynard guy is always smiling when he dances. It's really... a different mode of expression. Something about the rhythm and the movement... I dunno.
Anyhow, we were asked to step outside while they deliberated, and I rediscovered Gate 3. Can I just say that the sunlight in that area is AMAZING at 3:45-ish in the afternoon? I started thinking of... things. Eventually, we were called back. Just before I entered the Lecture Hall, I saw Mr. Legaspi exit, yelling "Ikaw na bahala, a, Carlo." When we got in, I closed the door, and we began the eliminations.
We were informed that only 7 out of the 9 got accepted. So the first three people to my right get accepted, then one guy in red, i think his name was Vim or Vin, got rejected. And then the next two people on the far left got accepted. So then it was just the remaining three in the center. Then the guy to my immediate left gets accepted, so it's just me and this other guy whose name is Darrell or Darryl. I was kind of already expecting that I was the one who got rejected, and I had already been imagining what I would be doing next year now that I had been rejected. I mean, c'mon, bottom two, hello.
It was the biggest, most pleasant surprise when Carlo (I think that was his name, right?) said, "And the last person we accepted was... Allen. I'm sorry Darrell/Darryl." Major expulsion of pent-up breath there. He also said that "There were lots of other clubs out there."
I had to contest that statement. While there are heaps of other clubs, there is no other club like Stage FX.
Also, I heard Jherald, and even Mr. Legaspi during the orientation, ranting about people lacking commitment. I would also like to say, as proof to all and my self, that I am and will be committed to Stage FX. I am committed to the incessant meetings, the late nights--all the works. I am committed.
Just watch.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
C'mon, Chip, it's past your bedtime
I have just come back from the Math tutor, my mom's ex-teacher, the Dean of Math in UST, blah di blah di blah.
You know how it's just endlessly surprising and ineffably comforting how God will somehow pick an old song from your archive, and you listen to it (in my case, on an iPod, half-asleep, on the way home) and just have to wonder why on Earth you ever stopped listening to it? Because it's so beautiful, and so perfect for the situation?
That's what happened to me tonight.
All of a sudden, "What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage..." arrests my movement, and I'm just sitting there and soaking in the pain and 感动-ness of it all.
I remembered when JV first commented to me when I put that line on my status once.
I remember that music video I made with it for Charmed, and how everyone was so touched by it, and infinitely saddened.
And I remember how Henrison used to say the song didn't really fit the video.
And then I was reminded of so many things about this one person. It's quite fitting actually. Quite fitting to the present state of things.
Prior to the aforementioned memories of this song, I can't even remember how I first heard of it (I think it was one of those crazy any-song-by-this-artist-random-download sessions I used to engage in, this particular one a fruit of hearing Possession and typing her name up in Kazaa. Yes, it was that long ago). I have no recollection of what I was listening to it for (everything I listen to, I listen to for a reason), before I threw it away into The Magical Place Where Songs I've Played More Than 200 Times And Have Grown Tired Of Or Outgrown Go (M.P.W.S.I.P.M.T.200T.A.H.G.T.O.O.O.G.).
Oh, have I neglected to mention what song it is? Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan.
It's amazing. I haven't felt this moved in such a long time. I can't believe I'm having a god-damn senti trip at 9:30 in the evening when my brain has been mushed and smushed by Math at the tutor, and will again be mushed and smushed by the Math QT tomorrow.
Charmed life that I live.
Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan (in bold are the lines that struck me hardest)
You know how it's just endlessly surprising and ineffably comforting how God will somehow pick an old song from your archive, and you listen to it (in my case, on an iPod, half-asleep, on the way home) and just have to wonder why on Earth you ever stopped listening to it? Because it's so beautiful, and so perfect for the situation?
That's what happened to me tonight.
All of a sudden, "What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage..." arrests my movement, and I'm just sitting there and soaking in the pain and 感动-ness of it all.
I remembered when JV first commented to me when I put that line on my status once.
I remember that music video I made with it for Charmed, and how everyone was so touched by it, and infinitely saddened.
And I remember how Henrison used to say the song didn't really fit the video.
And then I was reminded of so many things about this one person. It's quite fitting actually. Quite fitting to the present state of things.
Prior to the aforementioned memories of this song, I can't even remember how I first heard of it (I think it was one of those crazy any-song-by-this-artist-random-download sessions I used to engage in, this particular one a fruit of hearing Possession and typing her name up in Kazaa. Yes, it was that long ago). I have no recollection of what I was listening to it for (everything I listen to, I listen to for a reason), before I threw it away into The Magical Place Where Songs I've Played More Than 200 Times And Have Grown Tired Of Or Outgrown Go (M.P.W.S.I.P.M.T.200T.A.H.G.T.O.O.O.G.).
Oh, have I neglected to mention what song it is? Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan.
It's amazing. I haven't felt this moved in such a long time. I can't believe I'm having a god-damn senti trip at 9:30 in the evening when my brain has been mushed and smushed by Math at the tutor, and will again be mushed and smushed by the Math QT tomorrow.
Charmed life that I live.
Do What You Have To Do by Sarah McLachlan (in bold are the lines that struck me hardest)
What ravages of spirit conjured this temptuous rage
Created you a monster; broken by the rule of love
And fate has led you through it (hope, here)
You do what you have to do (the concept of leaving the only person you love because of responsibility just fractures me)
Oh, and fate has led you through it
You do what you have to do
But I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go (wise words)
Every moment marked with apparitions of your soul
I'm ever swiftly moving; trying to escape this desire (too true)
The yearning to be near you (ngrrr... oh my god...)
I do what I have to do (here it is again... but not so much responsibility as it is doing the only think you can do, which is be strong, move on, and try not to overthink it)
Oh, the yearning to be near you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that I don’t know how to let you go
I don’t know how to let you go
A glowing ember, burning hot, burning slow (this describes how I feel PERFECTLY)
Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you (I can't believe how accurately the words describe my feelings)
I know I can't be with you (gah... knives to my heart)
I do what I have to do
I know I can't be with you
I do what I have to do
And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go
I don't know how to let you go (and the final, deciding reiteration of the words somehow make it real to me, and it hits me with real impact)
We all just need to know we can still feel other things aside from hurt sometimes. It keeps us sane.
Quarterly Tests... Evil
While I am quite certain that I didn't do absolutely horrible, I am also positive that I really didn't do too well.
13th of March, 2007; 7:45 - 9:00 am
C.L.E., proctored by Ms. Ching
Not hard, but not exactly easy other. It was quite short, for which I am very thankful.
14th of March, 2007;
7:40 - 8:55 am
Science, proctored by Mr. Pinlac
Complicated, but I finished with a good thirty minutes to spare. I was almost smiling to myself at how not-challenging the tests were.
9:35 - 10:50 am
Social Science, proctored by Mr. Rivera
HELL!!!! If the QT's were arranged in ascending order from easiest to hardest, I shudder to think of what tomorrow's Geometry QT will be like!!! STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
OH MY GOOOOOD. *groans*
Anyhow, Aldwin and I talked a bit last night.
Yeah.
13th of March, 2007; 7:45 - 9:00 am
C.L.E., proctored by Ms. Ching
Not hard, but not exactly easy other. It was quite short, for which I am very thankful.
14th of March, 2007;
7:40 - 8:55 am
Science, proctored by Mr. Pinlac
Complicated, but I finished with a good thirty minutes to spare. I was almost smiling to myself at how not-challenging the tests were.
9:35 - 10:50 am
Social Science, proctored by Mr. Rivera
HELL!!!! If the QT's were arranged in ascending order from easiest to hardest, I shudder to think of what tomorrow's Geometry QT will be like!!! STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
OH MY GOOOOOD. *groans*
Anyhow, Aldwin and I talked a bit last night.
Yeah.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Everyone's Reinventing Themselves
Let's look at some prime examples:
Then there's Hilary, with that new song called With Love. As you can see, she's still aiming to be the next Britney, Princess of Pop (so what's Hilary, like, countess?). The music video of the song was also intensely reminiscent of Toxic--seducing a guy, doing things to him in an enclosed space, acting slutty, basically.
Avril has (finally) (finally) (FINALLY) shed the pseudo-punk-rock image and gone pop. Still, you can tell there are traces of rebellion in this punky, supercilious amalgam of almost all her styles (save for the crappy senti ones like that one that went "keep holding on... cos you know I'm there for you, there for you..." and "knock knock knocking on heaven's door..." which on its own was a noble venture but got overplayed and overabused by other movies like Windstruck), called "Girlfriend". All in all, Girlfriend is a very fun song.
Then there's Hilary, with that new song called With Love. As you can see, she's still aiming to be the next Britney, Princess of Pop (so what's Hilary, like, countess?). The music video of the song was also intensely reminiscent of Toxic--seducing a guy, doing things to him in an enclosed space, acting slutty, basically.And then there's Britney herself, who's just crazy. I actually just read an article about her this morning advocating Timbaland's pity for her. Poor girl--she used to be so respectable--one of the greatest names in Pop. How the mighty have fallen.
With any luck, Hilary won't fall down the same dark path that our ex-Pop Princess fell through.
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Elsewhere, moving away from Pop Doom, here're some nifty quotes to guide you along:
"Death is simply a journey that everyone must eventually embark on; one from which no one returns."
Mr. Linderman: "You see, I think there comes a time when a man has to ask himself whether he wants a life of happiness or a life of meaning."
Nathan Petrelli: "I'd like to have both."
Mr. Linderman: "Can't be done. Two very different paths."
Here's the subsequent discussion Mr. Claro and I had about the above quote:
Mr. Claro: ang mga taong nakararanas lamang ng lihim na kalungkutan ang siyang nakararanas din ng lihim na kaligayahan
Mr. Claro: - genoveva matute (kuwento ni mabuti)
Mr. Claro: re stat mo
Me: hindi naman po kalungkuta't kasiyahan ang pinagpipilian
Mr. Claro: oo nga
Mr. Claro: kaligayahan at kahulugan
Mr. Claro: pag pinili ang kahulugan, tila pinili rin ang kalungkutan
Me: kahulugan (as in may saysay) at kaligayahan (as in frivolity)
Mr. Claro: but
Mr. Claro: quote
Mr. Claro: yeah
Me: ah
Mr. Claro: frivolity
Mr. Claro: wala lang allen
Me: ang talim ng re niyo sa stat ko ... bilib na bilib ako
Mr. Claro: napapagod lang ako magbasa ng mga gawaing pasulat...
Me: nakakapagod nga naman po iyon
Me: hali't magsayang tayo ng oras
Me: *does a silly dance*
Mr. Claro: hahaha
Mr. Claro: kanina ko pa ginagawa yun.
Mr. Claro:
Me: kayo naman kasi e... kung ayaw niyong makaranas ng kalungkutang ka tindi, hindi niyo dapat itinakda
Me: pero ika niyo nga, ang nakararanas ng kalungkutan ang siyang makararanas din ng kaligayahan
Mr. Claro: right back at me huh?
Me: you brought it on yourself *hides*
Me: joke lang po
Me: think of it this way
Me: your sacrifice is in the interest and betterment of the future generation of Filipinos
Mr. Claro: SANA!!!
Me: sa madaling salita, you're sort of giving yourself up so that we can have a good education and hop out into the real world as better human beings all around
Me: ah, sana nga
Mr. Claro: iyon ang lihim na kaligayahang inaasam ko.
Me: pero lihim lang siya... hindi nararamdaman o nahahawakan... basta't napakalamig
Mr. Claro: not neccesarily
Mr. Claro: lihim siya in the sense na hindi lahat ng tao naunawaan ang pinagmulan ng bungang iyon...
Mr. Claro: hindi ibig sabihing hindi matutupad iyon...
Me: aba't nagawa niyong ipawalang-bisa ang aking pangungusap!
Me: siguro alternate interpretation lang iyong akin
Mr. Claro: haha
Mr. Claro: i'll give you another quote
Mr. Claro: There is always enough darkness for those who want to see it, and enough light for those who want to see it.
Me: hmmm
Me: absorbing
Me: i believe that happiness is something we create
Me: i suppose poignance is too
Me: and hope or the lack thereof
Mr. Claro: or maybe we create it but at the same time it has always been there...
Mr. Claro: they exist both at once
Mr. Claro: somewhere in that interaction between our self and our world lies the truth
Mr. Claro: ayyyy
Mr. Claro: lalo atang sumasakit ulo ko...
Me: ewan ko... kung sa akin, gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag ganito ako makipag-usap
Me: maybe because some things require the acceptance that they do not completely exist or are not completely achievable, or that nothing can be done about them/they just are; and i as a person shy from those topics when i talk or think
Mr. Claro: how come?
Me: it empowers me
Me: at nauuwi ulit sa "there's enough darkness/light for those who want to see it"
Me: in this day and age, it's no longer fate, it's a decision
Mr. Claro: but fate entails a decision too...
Me: maybe it's in the phrasing
Mr. Claro: hey allen...
Me: fate is a matter of acting upon others, and not being acted upon
Me: hey G. Claro
Mr. Claro: what are we talking about?
Mr. Claro: kidding
Me: kung naging sabaw na ang utak ninyo, huminto nalang po muna tayo
Me: baka't kung ano ang magawa niyo sa mga gawaing pasulat
Mr. Claro: i think it's also being acted upon, but you always have that decision if you want to be acted upon or not...
Me: okay....
Me: ergo fate is a matter of acting upon others, and not being acted upon
Mr. Claro: - genoveva matute (kuwento ni mabuti)
Mr. Claro: re stat mo
Me: hindi naman po kalungkuta't kasiyahan ang pinagpipilian
Mr. Claro: oo nga
Mr. Claro: kaligayahan at kahulugan
Mr. Claro: pag pinili ang kahulugan, tila pinili rin ang kalungkutan
Me: kahulugan (as in may saysay) at kaligayahan (as in frivolity)
Mr. Claro: but
Mr. Claro: quote
Mr. Claro: yeah
Me: ah
Mr. Claro: frivolity
Mr. Claro: wala lang allen
Me: ang talim ng re niyo sa stat ko ... bilib na bilib ako
Mr. Claro: napapagod lang ako magbasa ng mga gawaing pasulat...
Me: nakakapagod nga naman po iyon
Me: hali't magsayang tayo ng oras
Me: *does a silly dance*
Mr. Claro: hahaha
Mr. Claro: kanina ko pa ginagawa yun.
Mr. Claro:
Me: kayo naman kasi e... kung ayaw niyong makaranas ng kalungkutang ka tindi, hindi niyo dapat itinakda
Me: pero ika niyo nga, ang nakararanas ng kalungkutan ang siyang makararanas din ng kaligayahan
Mr. Claro: right back at me huh?
Me: you brought it on yourself *hides*
Me: joke lang po
Me: think of it this way
Me: your sacrifice is in the interest and betterment of the future generation of Filipinos
Mr. Claro: SANA!!!
Me: sa madaling salita, you're sort of giving yourself up so that we can have a good education and hop out into the real world as better human beings all around
Me: ah, sana nga
Mr. Claro: iyon ang lihim na kaligayahang inaasam ko.
Me: pero lihim lang siya... hindi nararamdaman o nahahawakan... basta't napakalamig
Mr. Claro: not neccesarily
Mr. Claro: lihim siya in the sense na hindi lahat ng tao naunawaan ang pinagmulan ng bungang iyon...
Mr. Claro: hindi ibig sabihing hindi matutupad iyon...
Me: aba't nagawa niyong ipawalang-bisa ang aking pangungusap!
Me: siguro alternate interpretation lang iyong akin
Mr. Claro: haha
Mr. Claro: i'll give you another quote
Mr. Claro: There is always enough darkness for those who want to see it, and enough light for those who want to see it.
Me: hmmm
Me: absorbing
Me: i believe that happiness is something we create
Me: i suppose poignance is too
Me: and hope or the lack thereof
Mr. Claro: or maybe we create it but at the same time it has always been there...
Mr. Claro: they exist both at once
Mr. Claro: somewhere in that interaction between our self and our world lies the truth
Mr. Claro: ayyyy
Mr. Claro: lalo atang sumasakit ulo ko...
Me: ewan ko... kung sa akin, gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko kapag ganito ako makipag-usap
Me: maybe because some things require the acceptance that they do not completely exist or are not completely achievable, or that nothing can be done about them/they just are; and i as a person shy from those topics when i talk or think
Mr. Claro: how come?
Me: it empowers me
Me: at nauuwi ulit sa "there's enough darkness/light for those who want to see it"
Me: in this day and age, it's no longer fate, it's a decision
Mr. Claro: but fate entails a decision too...
Me: maybe it's in the phrasing
Mr. Claro: hey allen...
Me: fate is a matter of acting upon others, and not being acted upon
Me: hey G. Claro
Mr. Claro: what are we talking about?
Mr. Claro: kidding
Me: kung naging sabaw na ang utak ninyo, huminto nalang po muna tayo
Me: baka't kung ano ang magawa niyo sa mga gawaing pasulat
Mr. Claro: i think it's also being acted upon, but you always have that decision if you want to be acted upon or not...
Me: okay....
Me: ergo fate is a matter of acting upon others, and not being acted upon
"The Birch Tree" by James Russel Lowell
A line from Don McLean's "Castles In The Air":
And if she asks you why, you can tell her that I told you that I'm tired of castles in the air--I've got a dream I want the world to share; and castles walls, just leave me to despair...
And from the Rascal Flatts' "Pieces" (personal context here):
And I don't wanna see you anymore--I'm just not that strong. I love it when you're here, but I'm better when you're gone. I'm certain that I've given, and, oh, how you can take. There's no use in your looking--there's nothing left for you to break. Baby, please release me, and let my heart rest in pieces.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Hands
Lately, I've had this urge to go into gymnastics or wall climbing or some other not-so-common sport.
And theatre--definitely theatre.
Anyhow, I just realized how much you could tell from someone's hands. In fact, some of the people I know are prime examples of this.
Take Kenn, for example, who boxes. His hands are quite strong, seem to bend in a definite way (esp. at his knuckles), have a kind of meaty look to it, and has that over-all toughed-up, roughed-up look to it. But his palms are rather smooth in texture compared to other people. Probably doesn't play basketball much, then, otherwise his hands would be coarse.
Which brings us to Alex, whose hands are very rough because he plays basketball quite frequently.
Then take Walter, who doesn't do a lot of sports other than swimming, but draws a lot. No, like a lot. As a result, his hands are somewhat veiny, but look very dextrous and move very precisely, as it's been trained to draw all sorts of curves and details. His palms look very "controlling" (like in manipulating a pen), and are also really soft, not like Kenn's, which are smooth, but tough.
Then let's look at Char's. They're noticeably slender, but move in a somewhat flitting way, and the fingers flit with a flair and flexibility about them. This could be girliness talking, but I think it has to do a lot with how she plays the piano. She probably taps the keyboard heavier, too.
It's a lot like my mom's, which have this kind of lithe but rigid movement. You can sort of tell she played the piano when she was younger (and she did. Eight years, i think) because the way she punches (yes, punches) the keys on the keyboard is very hard, akin to punching the keys on the piano, and always somewhat strained posture.
Well, I haven't got any special hobbies that involve the use of my hands (haha, dirty), so I wonder what my hands look or move like to other people?
And theatre--definitely theatre.
Anyhow, I just realized how much you could tell from someone's hands. In fact, some of the people I know are prime examples of this.
Take Kenn, for example, who boxes. His hands are quite strong, seem to bend in a definite way (esp. at his knuckles), have a kind of meaty look to it, and has that over-all toughed-up, roughed-up look to it. But his palms are rather smooth in texture compared to other people. Probably doesn't play basketball much, then, otherwise his hands would be coarse.
Which brings us to Alex, whose hands are very rough because he plays basketball quite frequently.
Then take Walter, who doesn't do a lot of sports other than swimming, but draws a lot. No, like a lot. As a result, his hands are somewhat veiny, but look very dextrous and move very precisely, as it's been trained to draw all sorts of curves and details. His palms look very "controlling" (like in manipulating a pen), and are also really soft, not like Kenn's, which are smooth, but tough.
Then let's look at Char's. They're noticeably slender, but move in a somewhat flitting way, and the fingers flit with a flair and flexibility about them. This could be girliness talking, but I think it has to do a lot with how she plays the piano. She probably taps the keyboard heavier, too.
It's a lot like my mom's, which have this kind of lithe but rigid movement. You can sort of tell she played the piano when she was younger (and she did. Eight years, i think) because the way she punches (yes, punches) the keys on the keyboard is very hard, akin to punching the keys on the piano, and always somewhat strained posture.
Well, I haven't got any special hobbies that involve the use of my hands (haha, dirty), so I wonder what my hands look or move like to other people?
I'll also do a future entry on their handwriting. ;)
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Mixed Up
I really don't feel the need to come up with any sense of continuity in this post, because the school year is coming to a close, and with it, a lot of feelings are blooming out of nowhere.
See, there's this ridiculously inexplicable sense of calm that's somehow grown inside me. Or perhaps it's that I'm not paying attention to the Quarterly Tests of Impending Doom, or the fact that all the H4 are going away. I've never really been close to people from other batches, but when the staffers (and other people) came in, it really felt sad to miss them. Of course, it's still less emo than the day when I'll have to leave Xavier and never see my batchmates (no matter how many of them bother me) again. It'll be... hmm. Murder.
So anyway, it's somehow weird to see so many people I've come to know and grow fond of go away completely (some're even going abroad) and I might, perhaps, never see or hear from them again.
That scares me.
Then there is the IMMEDIATE stress of the last few things that've been happening: LT's and quizzes abound, last-minute lessons crammed, research papers, and just the generally hectic weekend stuff. Well, rather than continue jabbering balderdash about how busy school is (Lord knows, I've read enough blogs with that same topic), I'll jump-ship before I sink.
The Prom is coming up. I'm not going. Hooray for me. On the other hand, Eddy and Dom, two people who, as far as I can remember, have never expressed interest in these social gatherings, are suddenly going. This 2007, the world certainly has gone mad. Or at least, turned upside down many, many times.
Then there's summer. Ah, summer. That word that strikes images of old, grainy films with a bunch of kids in swimming trunks running around on the grass next to a lake. Oh, and beaches. Lots of beaches. Meadows... oh wait, that's spring.
So anyhow, ever since I began blogging, something people know about me (or at least, can observe) is the lack of plans I make for summer before summer. Well, that's largely due to the fact that during summers, I don't do anything. I think of it as my "time to destress".
Unfortunately, I'm sick of "destressing" for two months every year, so this year, I'm making plans [you don't know nothin' about]. Yes, I'm channeling that Kelly Pickler song.
Piano lessons - getting help from Spenceroo.
Voice Lessons - hoping to do this with Andrew
Youth for Christ - *long, eerie silence* Um... so. *longer, eerier, quiet-er silence* Yes, well, now that the shock's worn off, and your eyes are probably red from re-reading that line trying to decipher why you keep reading it wrong, the simple truth is... you're not. That's right. I'm joining a Roman Catholic Youth Orgy*cough*Imean-anization. There is an ineffable joy in God.
Getting in Shape - guess who's getting fit?
Then perhaps a language or two.
You know what? I'm tired of my life here.
I thought I had something really good going for me. In a matter of one year, that just flew out of the window. Canadaaa... wait for me.
Or at least some other school. I never wanna be reminded of anything that has to do with... it again.
I swear, those entries are coming up soon!
See, there's this ridiculously inexplicable sense of calm that's somehow grown inside me. Or perhaps it's that I'm not paying attention to the Quarterly Tests of Impending Doom, or the fact that all the H4 are going away. I've never really been close to people from other batches, but when the staffers (and other people) came in, it really felt sad to miss them. Of course, it's still less emo than the day when I'll have to leave Xavier and never see my batchmates (no matter how many of them bother me) again. It'll be... hmm. Murder.
So anyway, it's somehow weird to see so many people I've come to know and grow fond of go away completely (some're even going abroad) and I might, perhaps, never see or hear from them again.
That scares me.
Then there is the IMMEDIATE stress of the last few things that've been happening: LT's and quizzes abound, last-minute lessons crammed, research papers, and just the generally hectic weekend stuff. Well, rather than continue jabbering balderdash about how busy school is (Lord knows, I've read enough blogs with that same topic), I'll jump-ship before I sink.
The Prom is coming up. I'm not going. Hooray for me. On the other hand, Eddy and Dom, two people who, as far as I can remember, have never expressed interest in these social gatherings, are suddenly going. This 2007, the world certainly has gone mad. Or at least, turned upside down many, many times.
Then there's summer. Ah, summer. That word that strikes images of old, grainy films with a bunch of kids in swimming trunks running around on the grass next to a lake. Oh, and beaches. Lots of beaches. Meadows... oh wait, that's spring.
So anyhow, ever since I began blogging, something people know about me (or at least, can observe) is the lack of plans I make for summer before summer. Well, that's largely due to the fact that during summers, I don't do anything. I think of it as my "time to destress".
Unfortunately, I'm sick of "destressing" for two months every year, so this year, I'm making plans [you don't know nothin' about]. Yes, I'm channeling that Kelly Pickler song.
Piano lessons - getting help from Spenceroo.
Voice Lessons - hoping to do this with Andrew
Youth for Christ - *long, eerie silence* Um... so. *longer, eerier, quiet-er silence* Yes, well, now that the shock's worn off, and your eyes are probably red from re-reading that line trying to decipher why you keep reading it wrong, the simple truth is... you're not. That's right. I'm joining a Roman Catholic Youth Orgy*cough*Imean-anization. There is an ineffable joy in God.
Getting in Shape - guess who's getting fit?
Then perhaps a language or two.
You know what? I'm tired of my life here.
I thought I had something really good going for me. In a matter of one year, that just flew out of the window. Canadaaa... wait for me.
Or at least some other school. I never wanna be reminded of anything that has to do with... it again.
I swear, those entries are coming up soon!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Hey, Destiny. You can call me "Master"
When it’s dark in the morning and we’ve drunken the night away
And all the imposters have filed away
You and I will be left in that majestic ballroom of flashing lights,
Sweet drinks and lingering feelings
Bashful smiles and brash hurt
I’ll think of offering myself to you
And wish you could stay a year longer
And all the things that that would entail
I’ll dream of holding you on vinyl tiling
As we sway to hushed love songs and secretive whispers
And you’ll sway my way
All the while, we’re holding others.
But smoke will clear and I’ll see you can’t look in my direction
I’ll grudgingly understand that you mean to depart
And fleeting hellos couldn’t hold you back
So what chance does a quiet feeling in my heart have?
I’ll wish I could charm you, touch your arm and leave an impression
Maybe you could see through my imperfections if I let you
But would you?
I’ll long for sweet days, far, far away
In street-end cafés deep into the night,
International airports at 5 in the morning
And I could memorize every detail on your face
And I’ll realize that I love you more than anything in the world
If I cry, would that move you?
If I die, would you ever know?
If I left ahead of you, would you be as torn as I will be?
If I kissed you, would the lofty thoughts of summers in lakes,
Plane rides over oceans, cheering at competitions, sharing iced cream cones,
Holding hands, staring at evening skies, dances on kitchen floors,
Pondering how and why we met, smiles, radiance, love, poignancy and regret
Pour into your heart; strike it, flush red and alive for me?
I’ll watch you across the dance floor, not really dancing
But not really knowing I exist, outside of your perfect world
And I’ll watch you ebb away from hallowed, harrowed halls
And I’ll break my heart trying to understand
Why a Sunday morning in a hotel room
Is a future that could never be
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post-Prom angst.
Who knew so many things could happen in the Prom?
Jess.
The above poem is just a little something I created after several repeated bursts of inspiration post-prom. I dunno... something about the glitz of it all.
I will blog about it soon, but not now. I have English to cram. Night, folks. Enjoy!
Hopefully, when summer kicks in, the Chinese pictures will make a comeback!
And all the imposters have filed away
You and I will be left in that majestic ballroom of flashing lights,
Sweet drinks and lingering feelings
Bashful smiles and brash hurt
I’ll think of offering myself to you
And wish you could stay a year longer
And all the things that that would entail
I’ll dream of holding you on vinyl tiling
As we sway to hushed love songs and secretive whispers
And you’ll sway my way
All the while, we’re holding others.
But smoke will clear and I’ll see you can’t look in my direction
I’ll grudgingly understand that you mean to depart
And fleeting hellos couldn’t hold you back
So what chance does a quiet feeling in my heart have?
I’ll wish I could charm you, touch your arm and leave an impression
Maybe you could see through my imperfections if I let you
But would you?
I’ll long for sweet days, far, far away
In street-end cafés deep into the night,
International airports at 5 in the morning
And I could memorize every detail on your face
And I’ll realize that I love you more than anything in the world
If I cry, would that move you?
If I die, would you ever know?
If I left ahead of you, would you be as torn as I will be?
If I kissed you, would the lofty thoughts of summers in lakes,
Plane rides over oceans, cheering at competitions, sharing iced cream cones,
Holding hands, staring at evening skies, dances on kitchen floors,
Pondering how and why we met, smiles, radiance, love, poignancy and regret
Pour into your heart; strike it, flush red and alive for me?
I’ll watch you across the dance floor, not really dancing
But not really knowing I exist, outside of your perfect world
And I’ll watch you ebb away from hallowed, harrowed halls
And I’ll break my heart trying to understand
Why a Sunday morning in a hotel room
Is a future that could never be
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Post-Prom angst.
Who knew so many things could happen in the Prom?
Jess.
The above poem is just a little something I created after several repeated bursts of inspiration post-prom. I dunno... something about the glitz of it all.
I will blog about it soon, but not now. I have English to cram. Night, folks. Enjoy!
Hopefully, when summer kicks in, the Chinese pictures will make a comeback!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
抖著怕著懮著向徑步
Few things can shake me to the core.
One of the few things that make my really weak all over is the thought of the future.
Call it a simple fear of the unknown, or a fear of leaving High School unfulfilled, but I am certainly terrified, and definitely not sure that I've done all that I could've in High School.
I don't wanna face the world.
One of the few things that make my really weak all over is the thought of the future.
Call it a simple fear of the unknown, or a fear of leaving High School unfulfilled, but I am certainly terrified, and definitely not sure that I've done all that I could've in High School.
I don't wanna face the world.
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Some intense P.E. + Unplugged + Irresponsible Parents = ?
Fridays, Fridays, Fridays.
I think someone should ban them. Especially the latter p.m. hours.
Yeah, see, first of all, I got to P.E. second after Marvin (Mendoza), and, since Mr. Zabala declared it free time, we got to playing all the way til about ten minutes before time, at which point we just watched John (sp?) Gan singelhandedly beat the crap out of the guy we know online as Redwense (forgot his real name), and Joesan Soon. It was fun, really.
Anyhow, at first I could beat Marvin, then he started beating me, and I got really weak and tired. By the end of the whole thing, my shoulder and shoulder blade were hurting. This morning, I realized my entire right leg was painful, too. Wow, I suck these days.
So then after that, I went to Unplugged, which was quite delayed. Kenn and I practiced a little more (with Ye laoshi going all 偷聽 on us because she wanted a sneak preview). We got in and it was freezing cold, but we just sat there. I was terrified, because I had neglected to bring my jacket. Why did the jacket matter so much?
Well, during Flying Solo, that Likas Gilas thingy with Jeffrey Hidalgo as a guest star, I sang... and I kept running out of breath because of the cold. So we sat through the first performance, with Hazel Wong commentating and the whole Chinese department singing. Jerry Fong (Fung? Feng? Fang?) was doing a solo with Bro. Ang. I turned around and saw Raphie sitting there. He waved hi. I smiled back unsteadily in thanks.
When they finished, it was ... US!!! I went upstage and started giving my reflection on the song. I just kept talking and talking... so eventually, I had to cut myself off. Then I started singing. I lost my breath on the first few lines actually.
It was okay, though. From where I was standing, I could see Demi Tian and Amanda Lu singing along with me for support. It felt uplifting.
Eventually, I finished, and inwardly lauded Kenn's absolutely striking performance. I felt good. Like this weight had been lifted off my chest.
Priscilla Chang sang 遇見 by 孫燕姿. An amazing song all in all.
Amanda Lu and Sherwin Su sang 一千零一個願望.
Ian Ronato sang Burn by Tina Turner and Broken by Amy Lee and that guy.
Demi Tian and Bro. Ang sang this song.
Then Yolly Reyes and Maria Go sang this song.
All in all, very not bad. There was even a joss stick ceremony before everything that really warmed me with its scent before I sang.
Afterwards, everyone kept telling me I did well. Seriously, I didn't.
I went home at about eight. After several very confusing phonecalls, eventually, I realized that Joel not only could not make it 5:30 like I said, but was still in Laguna all the way til ten! Gina and Rosanna took a cab to pick me up under mom's orders.
Yeah, mom and dad were using the driver, and somehow neglected to mention that they were going to be in Laguna till late, late in the night.
Oh well. A tiring but okay-ish week.
I think someone should ban them. Especially the latter p.m. hours.
Yeah, see, first of all, I got to P.E. second after Marvin (Mendoza), and, since Mr. Zabala declared it free time, we got to playing all the way til about ten minutes before time, at which point we just watched John (sp?) Gan singelhandedly beat the crap out of the guy we know online as Redwense (forgot his real name), and Joesan Soon. It was fun, really.
Anyhow, at first I could beat Marvin, then he started beating me, and I got really weak and tired. By the end of the whole thing, my shoulder and shoulder blade were hurting. This morning, I realized my entire right leg was painful, too. Wow, I suck these days.
So then after that, I went to Unplugged, which was quite delayed. Kenn and I practiced a little more (with Ye laoshi going all 偷聽 on us because she wanted a sneak preview). We got in and it was freezing cold, but we just sat there. I was terrified, because I had neglected to bring my jacket. Why did the jacket matter so much?
Well, during Flying Solo, that Likas Gilas thingy with Jeffrey Hidalgo as a guest star, I sang... and I kept running out of breath because of the cold. So we sat through the first performance, with Hazel Wong commentating and the whole Chinese department singing. Jerry Fong (Fung? Feng? Fang?) was doing a solo with Bro. Ang. I turned around and saw Raphie sitting there. He waved hi. I smiled back unsteadily in thanks.
When they finished, it was ... US!!! I went upstage and started giving my reflection on the song. I just kept talking and talking... so eventually, I had to cut myself off. Then I started singing. I lost my breath on the first few lines actually.
It was okay, though. From where I was standing, I could see Demi Tian and Amanda Lu singing along with me for support. It felt uplifting.
Eventually, I finished, and inwardly lauded Kenn's absolutely striking performance. I felt good. Like this weight had been lifted off my chest.
Priscilla Chang sang 遇見 by 孫燕姿. An amazing song all in all.
Amanda Lu and Sherwin Su sang 一千零一個願望.
Ian Ronato sang Burn by Tina Turner and Broken by Amy Lee and that guy.
Demi Tian and Bro. Ang sang this song.
Then Yolly Reyes and Maria Go sang this song.
All in all, very not bad. There was even a joss stick ceremony before everything that really warmed me with its scent before I sang.
Afterwards, everyone kept telling me I did well. Seriously, I didn't.
I went home at about eight. After several very confusing phonecalls, eventually, I realized that Joel not only could not make it 5:30 like I said, but was still in Laguna all the way til ten! Gina and Rosanna took a cab to pick me up under mom's orders.
Yeah, mom and dad were using the driver, and somehow neglected to mention that they were going to be in Laguna till late, late in the night.
Oh well. A tiring but okay-ish week.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Chem Magic
I was terrified, really.
I flunked the Chinese Yue Du and English Saving Private Ryan quiz. I thought that the third time would be the charm, and lead me to completely die of shame in the Chem Magic.
But there IS a God after all.
Amazingly, even though the practice the day before was more sabog than Pearl Harbor, today, there was something different that you could taste in the air. This was it. The second we entered the lab, and saw the vines that Jacques (and the props group) had strung up around the lecture area, where we'd painstakingly practiced all those many times, I felt like I was in one of those scenes in those movies where the lead walks into a place that's really important and there's this uplifting instrumental music and a pan of the area. It was wicked. We ran around like headless chickens for a while, but eventually got everything tied down in the right way. After snapping a picture, we all went over to the opposite lab for a prayer, some instructions and an introduction, and Advanced's presentation.
It was strange in that I couldn't understand what was going on, and it just ended.
Strange. Anyhow, after that, it was our turn, and everyone ran to the lecture area to finally prepare. I took up the spotlight and turned it on, and the magic began.
It's a pity that I couldn't just sit around and not do anything. I was constantly moving the spot light, which I felt was a little unnecessary. Eventually, we finished, and... I mean, wow. Even I was blown away at how well it was executed.
I will be blunt. I think my class should win. But then again, who doesn't?
Sections H3AC and H3G did their things. A few notes: G's Flying Chin Attack (don't ask) was totally copied out of H2BC's Body Works last year. Wesley plays arrogant very well (he also thanked me for saying so a while ago). Manny is the MONSTER!!!
Anyway... that's all. The Chem Magic made my day. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Mr. Chua brought us back to the classroom afterwards, raving about how fantastic we'd done all the way from the Chem lab. He was particularly fond of the part where Dominic was trying to get the Smoke Bomb to spark, and failed three or four times with the match that kept blowing out, yelling, "I'm a chemist! I'm a chemist!" Hilarious!
Then Pohan produced the solution for the Exploding Chua Bears (don't ask. Haha!) and while it sparked, Dominic was "knocked away", and Lee suddenly produced a gun, yelled out charges (theft, murder, rape, etc...). And the whole time, Pohan was still holding the test tube with the scintillating gummy bear inside, searching frantically around the room for someone to hand it to when all of a sudden, Lee tells him, "Put that down!" then after a pause, "somewhere safe!".
And at the very end, Kenn, Lee and Dominic didn't follow the vapid exit motion... instead, Kenn yelled, "Oh, no, it's prepaid!" Lee replied, "And so?", to which Kenn finally called out the punchline, "We have no load!"
END!!!!!!! Bwahahahahahaha! I love our group.
Afterwards, Mr. Chua further expressed how proud he was of us, and that made me proud, too.
He deserves it, after all. After getting cut from the Variety Show, he deserves all the pride and happiness he can still have.
I flunked the Chinese Yue Du and English Saving Private Ryan quiz. I thought that the third time would be the charm, and lead me to completely die of shame in the Chem Magic.
But there IS a God after all.
Amazingly, even though the practice the day before was more sabog than Pearl Harbor, today, there was something different that you could taste in the air. This was it. The second we entered the lab, and saw the vines that Jacques (and the props group) had strung up around the lecture area, where we'd painstakingly practiced all those many times, I felt like I was in one of those scenes in those movies where the lead walks into a place that's really important and there's this uplifting instrumental music and a pan of the area. It was wicked. We ran around like headless chickens for a while, but eventually got everything tied down in the right way. After snapping a picture, we all went over to the opposite lab for a prayer, some instructions and an introduction, and Advanced's presentation.
It was strange in that I couldn't understand what was going on, and it just ended.
Strange. Anyhow, after that, it was our turn, and everyone ran to the lecture area to finally prepare. I took up the spotlight and turned it on, and the magic began.
It's a pity that I couldn't just sit around and not do anything. I was constantly moving the spot light, which I felt was a little unnecessary. Eventually, we finished, and... I mean, wow. Even I was blown away at how well it was executed.
I will be blunt. I think my class should win. But then again, who doesn't?
Sections H3AC and H3G did their things. A few notes: G's Flying Chin Attack (don't ask) was totally copied out of H2BC's Body Works last year. Wesley plays arrogant very well (he also thanked me for saying so a while ago). Manny is the MONSTER!!!
Anyway... that's all. The Chem Magic made my day. WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Mr. Chua brought us back to the classroom afterwards, raving about how fantastic we'd done all the way from the Chem lab. He was particularly fond of the part where Dominic was trying to get the Smoke Bomb to spark, and failed three or four times with the match that kept blowing out, yelling, "I'm a chemist! I'm a chemist!" Hilarious!
Then Pohan produced the solution for the Exploding Chua Bears (don't ask. Haha!) and while it sparked, Dominic was "knocked away", and Lee suddenly produced a gun, yelled out charges (theft, murder, rape, etc...). And the whole time, Pohan was still holding the test tube with the scintillating gummy bear inside, searching frantically around the room for someone to hand it to when all of a sudden, Lee tells him, "Put that down!" then after a pause, "somewhere safe!".
And at the very end, Kenn, Lee and Dominic didn't follow the vapid exit motion... instead, Kenn yelled, "Oh, no, it's prepaid!" Lee replied, "And so?", to which Kenn finally called out the punchline, "We have no load!"
END!!!!!!! Bwahahahahahaha! I love our group.
Afterwards, Mr. Chua further expressed how proud he was of us, and that made me proud, too.
He deserves it, after all. After getting cut from the Variety Show, he deserves all the pride and happiness he can still have.
Monday, February 19, 2007
你說你要的世界在很遠, 我不了解．分手就分手, 別把話說得太美.
- X-Men 3
- War of the Worlds
- Souvenir of Canada
- Superman 3
- Griffin & Phoenix
- Equilibrium
- Ultraviolet
- Star Wars 4, 5, and 6
- The Craft
- The Da Vinci Code
- Superman Returns
- Casino Royale
- Click
- Mission Impossible III
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Break-Up
- My Super Ex-Girlfriend
-Constantine
- The Lake House
Of this list of movies, I can now safely cross Constantine out.
And then, yesterday, I watched Music & Lyrics, a rather interesting movie starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. I loved the retorts. Although I don't get how sleeping with someone can be "professional" unless you're a prostitute, and believe me, Drew's character was NOT prostitute-y.
Interesting.
I swear to God, I loved the retorts! Such a wicked movie!
Here's a cool video of this dude who sounds like a cross between Leehom and Jay Chou, but is nowhere as artistically capable as either. Very pop. But that's the fun in it all.
"男傭" by 吳克群
This is the first part of a movie called "In The Mood For Love", which Kennzo might recognize as the prequel to his oh-so-beloved "2046", also starring Tony Leung Chiu Wai. I'm not sure about 2046, but In The Mood For Love, also known as 花樣年華 ("Years Like Flowers"), is quite unique in Chinese cinema for making large, unrestricted use of Shanghainese--unprecedented except by Ang Lee, in a movie wherein the girl used a Wu dialect to speak with her parents. In this case, it's the well-known (sort of) Shanghainese singer from the 60's, Rebecca Pan, a.k.a. Poon Dik-Wah.
Isn't it a pity that it would have to be in a film in a completely different culture that finally Shanghainese as a language would come out? Seriously, those blockheads in Beijing ought to let the Shanghainese do what they want. Beijingers...
But on the film itself. Wow... now I know what Kenn says when he refers to something as a "piece of art". I was getting lost in the story, and everything was extremely fuzzy at some parts--as in I did not know where the story was or was going at all. But after watching the whole movie (and going back to rewatch several parts), I can honestly say that I love the movie. It was subtly done, with sensitive acting, and a kind of quiet longing in the characters that you can never really quite place. The emotions aren't categorized in this film; they're all over the place, and that adds to the effect and stark reality that real life can't be filed away into boxes in your heart. The truth is, everything is scattered unless you make the effort to sort it all out. For me, I kind of like the scattered emotions--a whole burst of feeling in one go is better than increments and threads of it coming out in a steady stream.
Now this video, my friends, is something I have long since loved. It's a music vid by Sugarland and Bon Jovi (maaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyy thanks to Alexis for introducing them to me, especially this song), and it's called "Who Says You Can't Go Home". I love it! Tune, voice and lyrics, and all.
- War of the Worlds
- Souvenir of Canada
- Superman 3
- Griffin & Phoenix
- Equilibrium
- Ultraviolet
- Star Wars 4, 5, and 6
- The Craft
- The Da Vinci Code
- Superman Returns
- Casino Royale
- Click
- Mission Impossible III
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Break-Up
- My Super Ex-Girlfriend
-
- The Lake House
Of this list of movies, I can now safely cross Constantine out.
And then, yesterday, I watched Music & Lyrics, a rather interesting movie starring Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant. I loved the retorts. Although I don't get how sleeping with someone can be "professional" unless you're a prostitute, and believe me, Drew's character was NOT prostitute-y.
Interesting.
I swear to God, I loved the retorts! Such a wicked movie!
Here's a cool video of this dude who sounds like a cross between Leehom and Jay Chou, but is nowhere as artistically capable as either. Very pop. But that's the fun in it all.
"男傭" by 吳克群
This is the first part of a movie called "In The Mood For Love", which Kennzo might recognize as the prequel to his oh-so-beloved "2046", also starring Tony Leung Chiu Wai. I'm not sure about 2046, but In The Mood For Love, also known as 花樣年華 ("Years Like Flowers"), is quite unique in Chinese cinema for making large, unrestricted use of Shanghainese--unprecedented except by Ang Lee, in a movie wherein the girl used a Wu dialect to speak with her parents. In this case, it's the well-known (sort of) Shanghainese singer from the 60's, Rebecca Pan, a.k.a. Poon Dik-Wah.
Isn't it a pity that it would have to be in a film in a completely different culture that finally Shanghainese as a language would come out? Seriously, those blockheads in Beijing ought to let the Shanghainese do what they want. Beijingers...
But on the film itself. Wow... now I know what Kenn says when he refers to something as a "piece of art". I was getting lost in the story, and everything was extremely fuzzy at some parts--as in I did not know where the story was or was going at all. But after watching the whole movie (and going back to rewatch several parts), I can honestly say that I love the movie. It was subtly done, with sensitive acting, and a kind of quiet longing in the characters that you can never really quite place. The emotions aren't categorized in this film; they're all over the place, and that adds to the effect and stark reality that real life can't be filed away into boxes in your heart. The truth is, everything is scattered unless you make the effort to sort it all out. For me, I kind of like the scattered emotions--a whole burst of feeling in one go is better than increments and threads of it coming out in a steady stream.
Now this video, my friends, is something I have long since loved. It's a music vid by Sugarland and Bon Jovi (maaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnyyyyy thanks to Alexis for introducing them to me, especially this song), and it's called "Who Says You Can't Go Home". I love it! Tune, voice and lyrics, and all.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Philosophy Club
There have been close to 100 realizations that have occurred over the past two months that have spontaneously sprung to life inside my mind during a wholly inappropriate moment (Math tests (especially Math tests), rides in the car, when I'm about to be late for homeroom, when i'm singing the national anthem, some crack my classmate makes, something i overhear some teachers saying, etc...
And all if them have gone down the drain because I have failed to jot them down or remember where I jotted them down, or completely forgotten what I meant to say when I jotted them down such that the notes make absolutely no sense to me.
So today, I headed over to the Chapel with Mr. Maraña and 5 H4 Xaverians in tow. We took one side of the chapel--the prayer group thing took the other side.
It was great. I realized could remember more ideas than I thought I could. There was that recent business of the Octopus (which I completely angsted about to a friend, mostly how I hadn't realized how much I missed riding rides until I had ridden one, and I missed that adrenaline). What began as a simple tradition (I ride the Octopus every year in the school fair) turned into a sweet obsession that I couldn't seem to get enough of (I ended up riding it thrice). When we entered the chapel, we all sat down and we began talking. Mr. Maraña first offered us some Pezz (double "z" right?), accompanied by a simple anecdote of his childhood, then mentioned how graduation was on everyone's minds (they were in H4). This one guy who was super pilyo suddenly pointed at me and jokingly laughed "I'm so sorry." then later, "HA HA!!!!"
Then we started talking and, as is characteristic of teenage boys, and really, just boys, we ended up talking about girls and sex.
Mr. Maraña had some suprising and rather uncommon statistics on these topics. Yes, that's right, statistics.
Later on, people began leaving and we tied up "culture of the states, as opposed to that of the Philippines' ". Turns out, all these H4 dudes were students of Mr. Maraña's, I think. Or at least mentorees. Or people who had known Mr. Maraña at least slightly well for more than a week (I've "known" him well for about... one day now.)
Oh, and we started a tad late (4:41 in my watch, which means it was somewhere around 4:38 pm) so we consequently ended pretty late (5:53 in my watch).
Still, swapping ideas with those H4 guys (who looked kind of shallow at first, but turned out ... well, I wouldn't say as deep as I had hoped, but definitely did not disappoint--especially this one person sitting beside me that looked kind of like a jock but was suprisingly insightful) was so relieving for me. It's like, that whole part of me that needed this ineffable depth to be aired was so fulfilled, I felt really light inside for the first time in ages. That's something that, as hard as it is for me to admit, none of my friends can really give me.
And why is that? It's like Mr. Maraña said--this kind of stuff is taboo in normal society. We do surface things--never penetrating that glossed over surface of limelight and Fool's Gold. We may talk about simple, everyday events with ease and gusto, but if anyone dares to venture further, people back off and the buzz is stamped out.
Having that hour of complete freedom and, although I didn't really do much but get warmed up with the depth aspect, just knowing that I had the option was so absolutely liberating, I felt really deep and really high at the same time. It was nothing like Canada. But I loved it all the same.
I had this intense urge to mention intellectual orgasms quite a few times, and several instances would have allowed me to whip it out and garner laughs, but I refrained, because, I suppose, there was that stigma. I buried that hunger for depth (another one of Mr. Maraña's ideologies) long ago, and it's going to take lots of coaxing and change in environment to dig through all those shallow layers.
Perhaps I can never be Kenn-deep, because he's a completely different league on his own, but I'm gonna try to be Allen-deep as much as I can. I'm done with people telling me how to be. It hurts a lot.
Anyhow, when we finished, we had a little more Pezz and we headed off. He asked me what I intended to do over the weekend, and then eventually got me rolling on the whole Canada thing.
This is what surprised me.
I said some things that I had only just realized when I said them. I said that after Canada, I didn't wanna be here, and that the only things keeping me alive were those little things in between the big uber-topics (like Religion, Politics, Work and School), like Sunrise, and Anger, and Fears, and Riding Rides. I surprised myself, really. He looked quite affected by that.
Then he asked me if I was "into art... at all". I asked if he meant "The Arts" such as literature, etc... and I mentioned that I wrote a lot.
Next week, we do a repeat.
I felt so good. So daaaaang good.
Audren was having a bad few days. It was unnerving seeing him so down, and uncommunicative.
I'm sorry, Audren. But remember, Jess has his reasons. Have faith.
And all if them have gone down the drain because I have failed to jot them down or remember where I jotted them down, or completely forgotten what I meant to say when I jotted them down such that the notes make absolutely no sense to me.
So today, I headed over to the Chapel with Mr. Maraña and 5 H4 Xaverians in tow. We took one side of the chapel--the prayer group thing took the other side.
It was great. I realized could remember more ideas than I thought I could. There was that recent business of the Octopus (which I completely angsted about to a friend, mostly how I hadn't realized how much I missed riding rides until I had ridden one, and I missed that adrenaline). What began as a simple tradition (I ride the Octopus every year in the school fair) turned into a sweet obsession that I couldn't seem to get enough of (I ended up riding it thrice). When we entered the chapel, we all sat down and we began talking. Mr. Maraña first offered us some Pezz (double "z" right?), accompanied by a simple anecdote of his childhood, then mentioned how graduation was on everyone's minds (they were in H4). This one guy who was super pilyo suddenly pointed at me and jokingly laughed "I'm so sorry." then later, "HA HA!!!!"
Then we started talking and, as is characteristic of teenage boys, and really, just boys, we ended up talking about girls and sex.
Mr. Maraña had some suprising and rather uncommon statistics on these topics. Yes, that's right, statistics.
Later on, people began leaving and we tied up "culture of the states, as opposed to that of the Philippines' ". Turns out, all these H4 dudes were students of Mr. Maraña's, I think. Or at least mentorees. Or people who had known Mr. Maraña at least slightly well for more than a week (I've "known" him well for about... one day now.)
Oh, and we started a tad late (4:41 in my watch, which means it was somewhere around 4:38 pm) so we consequently ended pretty late (5:53 in my watch).
Still, swapping ideas with those H4 guys (who looked kind of shallow at first, but turned out ... well, I wouldn't say as deep as I had hoped, but definitely did not disappoint--especially this one person sitting beside me that looked kind of like a jock but was suprisingly insightful) was so relieving for me. It's like, that whole part of me that needed this ineffable depth to be aired was so fulfilled, I felt really light inside for the first time in ages. That's something that, as hard as it is for me to admit, none of my friends can really give me.
And why is that? It's like Mr. Maraña said--this kind of stuff is taboo in normal society. We do surface things--never penetrating that glossed over surface of limelight and Fool's Gold. We may talk about simple, everyday events with ease and gusto, but if anyone dares to venture further, people back off and the buzz is stamped out.
Having that hour of complete freedom and, although I didn't really do much but get warmed up with the depth aspect, just knowing that I had the option was so absolutely liberating, I felt really deep and really high at the same time. It was nothing like Canada. But I loved it all the same.
I had this intense urge to mention intellectual orgasms quite a few times, and several instances would have allowed me to whip it out and garner laughs, but I refrained, because, I suppose, there was that stigma. I buried that hunger for depth (another one of Mr. Maraña's ideologies) long ago, and it's going to take lots of coaxing and change in environment to dig through all those shallow layers.
Perhaps I can never be Kenn-deep, because he's a completely different league on his own, but I'm gonna try to be Allen-deep as much as I can. I'm done with people telling me how to be. It hurts a lot.
Anyhow, when we finished, we had a little more Pezz and we headed off. He asked me what I intended to do over the weekend, and then eventually got me rolling on the whole Canada thing.
This is what surprised me.
I said some things that I had only just realized when I said them. I said that after Canada, I didn't wanna be here, and that the only things keeping me alive were those little things in between the big uber-topics (like Religion, Politics, Work and School), like Sunrise, and Anger, and Fears, and Riding Rides. I surprised myself, really. He looked quite affected by that.
Then he asked me if I was "into art... at all". I asked if he meant "The Arts" such as literature, etc... and I mentioned that I wrote a lot.
Next week, we do a repeat.
I felt so good. So daaaaang good.
Audren was having a bad few days. It was unnerving seeing him so down, and uncommunicative.
I'm sorry, Audren. But remember, Jess has his reasons. Have faith.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Break You
Marion Raven is darkly beautiful, in a way that's classical and yet very contemporary. Enchanting.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
The Movies That I Must Watch
I have not seen a movie in God knows how long.
I mean a new one, in theatres. So let's count them down, shall we?
- X-Men 3
- War of the Worlds
- Souvenir of Canada
- Superman 3
- Griffin & Phoenix
- Equilibrium
- Ultraviolet
- Star Wars 4, 5, and 6
- The Craft
- The Da Vinci Code
- Superman Returns
- Casino Royale
- Click
- Mission Impossible III
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Break-Up
- My Super Ex-Girlfriend
- Constantine
- The Lake House
Great, now I can just hand this list in to the lady at the video rental store.
I mean a new one, in theatres. So let's count them down, shall we?
- X-Men 3
- War of the Worlds
- Souvenir of Canada
- Superman 3
- Griffin & Phoenix
- Equilibrium
- Ultraviolet
- Star Wars 4, 5, and 6
- The Craft
- The Da Vinci Code
- Superman Returns
- Casino Royale
- Click
- Mission Impossible III
- The Devil Wears Prada
- The Break-Up
- My Super Ex-Girlfriend
- Constantine
- The Lake House
Great, now I can just hand this list in to the lady at the video rental store.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Positive Feedback and Idealistic Exodus
So I guess now I have time to talk about what's been happening lately.
A few weeks ago, I did a prayer for the school over the P.A. system in the morning in Chinese. I prepared for it for a week with Ye laoshi, and it went great--the response was good. Martin's class thought I was a teacher (yays).
Then this morning, I did a prayer with Lawrence at the General Assembly. While fretting over how long my hair was, how I would say things, where on Earth Ms. Magallona was, et al...
It was freezing cold this morning. I felt happy.
I got there at seven with Lawrence and we practised here and there, til Lee Panopio and Gabriel Juanengo came and hung around. Then the lady for the powerpoint came, so I patted my pocket for my flashdrive... it was not there! I remembered how I had left it on the computer table at home. SHIT!!!
I ran to her and raised Cain, worrying and trying to think of a plan, and many times, as I turned around in the still-empty HS gym, I smelled this flowery scent that reminded me so intensely of America (Minnesota), coupled with the cold weather, that I was struck immobile and rendered speechless for several moments. And I turned around and around, Windstruck style, and I could feel the intensity of the cold, and finally, I collected my wits and ran back to Lawrence to ask if I could have my copy of the prayer... only to see my flashdrive on top of it. *phew* I copied the powerpoint, gave instructions to the lady, and then waited.
People filled in.
Ms. Magallona was missing in action (she later says that she was watching). We go through the National Anthem and Pledge to the Flag before Lawrence and I walk up stage and stand there like idiots for about a minute while the lady and the Able services sort out the projector problem for our powerpoint. Yeah, we crammed this last night. Ms. Magallona even called to check up on us, and eventually we finished. I called Lawrence up, and his mom answered the phone. (We spoke in Hokkien. Wicked!) (Okay, so it was like 10 words tops. STILL!!!) Back to the present, eventually, the powerpoint shone, and I walked up to the Mic and read out St. Martina's biography from my cheat-sheet. It was then that I realized that it was more of a graphic-novel-like description of her death rather than a biography. It was then that I also realized that my legs were shaking. Seriously, I couldn't move them. They were just shaking and shaking... but my entire upper body was working fine. I wasn't even nervous... strange... involuntary reaction?
Anyway, Ye laoshi told me later that I did well, and 我的緊張聽不出來. Yay! Well, we also attempted to write Traditional Chinese. Laoshi wasn't bad at it. But we had a riot learning 鬱, which is just 郁 in Simplified. Mwahahaha!
So Lawrence said the prayer (with markedly less nervousness than me), and we descended from the stage and returned to our classes.
What a day!
I've been doing lots of these for the school lately... Let's wait 'til the Chinese mass and Unplugged.
[Idealistic Exodus comes next time!]
A few weeks ago, I did a prayer for the school over the P.A. system in the morning in Chinese. I prepared for it for a week with Ye laoshi, and it went great--the response was good. Martin's class thought I was a teacher (yays).
Then this morning, I did a prayer with Lawrence at the General Assembly. While fretting over how long my hair was, how I would say things, where on Earth Ms. Magallona was, et al...
It was freezing cold this morning. I felt happy.
I got there at seven with Lawrence and we practised here and there, til Lee Panopio and Gabriel Juanengo came and hung around. Then the lady for the powerpoint came, so I patted my pocket for my flashdrive... it was not there! I remembered how I had left it on the computer table at home. SHIT!!!
I ran to her and raised Cain, worrying and trying to think of a plan, and many times, as I turned around in the still-empty HS gym, I smelled this flowery scent that reminded me so intensely of America (Minnesota), coupled with the cold weather, that I was struck immobile and rendered speechless for several moments. And I turned around and around, Windstruck style, and I could feel the intensity of the cold, and finally, I collected my wits and ran back to Lawrence to ask if I could have my copy of the prayer... only to see my flashdrive on top of it. *phew* I copied the powerpoint, gave instructions to the lady, and then waited.
People filled in.
Ms. Magallona was missing in action (she later says that she was watching). We go through the National Anthem and Pledge to the Flag before Lawrence and I walk up stage and stand there like idiots for about a minute while the lady and the Able services sort out the projector problem for our powerpoint. Yeah, we crammed this last night. Ms. Magallona even called to check up on us, and eventually we finished. I called Lawrence up, and his mom answered the phone. (We spoke in Hokkien. Wicked!) (Okay, so it was like 10 words tops. STILL!!!) Back to the present, eventually, the powerpoint shone, and I walked up to the Mic and read out St. Martina's biography from my cheat-sheet. It was then that I realized that it was more of a graphic-novel-like description of her death rather than a biography. It was then that I also realized that my legs were shaking. Seriously, I couldn't move them. They were just shaking and shaking... but my entire upper body was working fine. I wasn't even nervous... strange... involuntary reaction?
Anyway, Ye laoshi told me later that I did well, and 我的緊張聽不出來. Yay! Well, we also attempted to write Traditional Chinese. Laoshi wasn't bad at it. But we had a riot learning 鬱, which is just 郁 in Simplified. Mwahahaha!
So Lawrence said the prayer (with markedly less nervousness than me), and we descended from the stage and returned to our classes.
What a day!
I've been doing lots of these for the school lately... Let's wait 'til the Chinese mass and Unplugged.
[Idealistic Exodus comes next time!]
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