I Still Write You Poems

It's funny how I can go and toss up the oldest Cantonese song I know with the most archaic lyrics and all the depth that I could ever hope for, but in the end... in the very, very end, when all's been said and done, and I've memorized the lyrics and what it means and put it in my heart, it could never mean more to me than the lyrics of some other, comparatively simpler Mandarin or Cantonese songs. Perhaps it's the way they're just a raw declaration of the feelings the artist harbors, or the way the words stick to me right away and it's a no fuss way of understanding the song, but I've inwardly cried and died over those simpler songs countless times more than the deeper ones.

I will list some of the lyrics of some of the songs that have moved me (prepare for an onslaught of Chinese):

霍建華 - 你好就好

只要你好就好 你好就好
其他的我不計較
就算我會煩惱
就算我會焦躁
就算我會被忘掉 (I just about died when I heard this line. It's like... gaaaah, ouch ouch ouch...)

劉德華 - 練習

我已開始練習　開始慢慢著急 著急這世界沒有你
已經和眼淚說好不哭泣 但倒數計時的愛該怎麼繼續

我天天練習　天天都會熟悉 在沒有你的城市裡

陳慧琳 - 我會掛念你

我會掛念你 當分開千里
就算我世界 有繽紛天與地
我眼內仍是你

傳達遠方 聽筒裡熟識聲線
期望你會好好開始一天 (This line is amazing)
臨睡我會以一張照片可再見

陳慧琳 - 兩個世界

兩個世界　應該在哪裡交彙
或許我　對愛有著太多的無聊體會

周杰倫 - 安靜

我會學著放棄你 是因為我太愛你

陳奕迅 & 梁漢文 - 拔河

你別再拔河
真心不是誰比誰坎坷
能捨才能得
淚水不能解幸福的渴

張信哲 - 不要對他說

哭得累了的你看來睡得好無辜
在你耳邊輕輕說出最後的要求
不要對他說出一樣的話
不要對他說 夜里會害怕
別說你多晚都會等他的電話
別說你只喜歡他送的玫瑰花
因為這些是我僅有殘留的夢

不要對他說一樣的話語
不要對他說你總是愛的太懮郁
別說你最渴望他能為你而淋雨
我願忍受折磨
獨自去擁有 曾經的溫柔

光良 - 都是你

想念的心裝滿的都是你
我的鋼琴彈奏的都是你
我的日記寫滿的都是你的名

陳慧琳 - 短消息

有些事情　你永遠不會忘記
我猜這就是刻骨銘心
...
我多麼愛你　又多麼想你
...
明明想忘記　卻藏著痕跡
多麼痛恨這樣矛盾的情緒

陳慧琳 - 對你太在乎

對你太在乎 沒什麼抱負 能不能明天再結束
我要你在乎 是要你放慢腳步 只想彼此都不厭惡

劉德華 - 狠心的一課

在未來我應該怎麼做
...
結束後請永遠忘了我
...
我脆弱我真的無話可說

王菲 - 紅豆

我們一起顫抖 會更明白 甚麼是溫柔
...
可能從此以後 學會珍惜 天長和地久
...
有時候 有時候 我會相信一切有盡頭
相聚離開 都有時候 沒有甚麼會永垂不朽
...
等到風景都看透 也許你會陪我 看細水長流

陳慧琳 - 紅絲帶

我已有禮物他有嗎
當我要喝便有茶
不快樂嗎
...
若然我快樂有余 可轉贈嗎
若與他分享更歡樂嗎

古巨基 - 愛得太遲

來日別操心　趁你有能力開心
世界有太多東西發生　不要等到天上俯瞰

周杰倫 - 晴天

還要多久 我才能在你身邊
等待放晴的那天 也許我會比較好一點

陳奕迅 - 全世界失眠

想起白天的約會 忘了晚上的咖啡
...
一個人失眠 全世界失眠
...
如何想你想到六點 如何愛你愛到終點
...
想起我的時候 你會不會
好像我一樣 不能睡

孫楠 - 燃燒

你　躲在我心裡　讓我有心跳　忘了你我就活不了
...
愛　已經不太重要　重要的只是　我忘了把你忘掉

劉德華 - 肉麻情歌

我慶幸 我明白 簡單一個愛
喔~我多瘋 我多怪 就妳最明白
我呼吸 我開心 因為妳存在
隨妳說命歹 我幸運 才得到妳的愛

陳奕迅 - 十面埋伏

分開一千天　天天盼再會面
只怕使你　先找到我
但直行直過　天都幫你去躲
躲開不見我

周杰倫 - 珊瑚海

海鳥跟魚相愛
只是一場意外
我們的愛(我們的愛)
差異一直存在

許志安 - 時差

我慢你半步　請別逃　離別我你太早
我慢了半步　想不到　拿著交給我的激情
還給你感情　誰料天色已蒼老

許志安 - 他送你回來以後

他送妳回來以後
我常一個人到外頭走走
我以為我至少可以想通 一個爛理由
他送妳回來以後
我假裝沒有太多的難受
這樣有一天妳真的要走 不必我點頭

陳慧琳 - 體會

莫讓夜裡充滿傷心的氣味
　然而事實總相違　你的容顏難淹滅
亂了心扉　亂了時間　白天夢迴夜不睡
　心在反覆糾結　好不疲倦　不曾埋怨
願你體會　一一體會　多少心碎多少醉
　是淚或是笑靨　全是為你　真情絕對　不曾改變

王菲 - 天空

我的天空 為何掛滿濕的淚　
我的天空 為何總灰的臉
...
但願天空 不再掛滿濕的淚　
但願天空 不再塗上灰的臉

劉德華 - 天生天養

天生天養 邊走邊唱
聆聽自己的心至上
不理風向
沒華麗的色相
面對天空開個唱

王心凌 - 我會好好的

我是想著你 一直想著你 你在我心底 變成了秘密
...
不要說你愛我 你想我 如果你的心裡沒有這麼做
...
我要你默默走 不回頭 我會清楚明白你要的是什麼
...
到現在還是深深的 深深的愛著你
是愛情的友情的都可以

言承旭 - 我是真的真的很愛你

誰叫我已愛你成性
總有一天可以用力緊緊抱住你
畢竟繼續的呼吸也要有點目的

阿杜 - 下雪

爽約了諾言
白茫茫的世界碎成雪
...
終於在下雪　意味著離別
我心頭的雪　不知還有多久才融解

許志安 & 韓紅 - 相愛多年

讓我如何忘記　忘記曾經相愛的諾言
讓我如何忘記　忘記你那可愛的臉
讓我如何放棄　放棄我們相愛多年

陳慧琳 & 周傳雄 - 再見北極雪

應該為你笑過 為你哭過 為你生怕錯過
我們選擇分手那一刻想著甚麼
會是怦然心動或是沉默
如果夢裡再相逢 北極還在下著雪
是否能再次握你的手

張學友 - 祝福

失去過 才能真正懂得去珍惜和擁有
...
願心中永遠留著我的笑容
伴你走過每一個春夏秋冬
傷離別 離別雖然在眼前
說再見 再見不會太遙遠
若有緣 有緣就能期待明天
你和我重逢在燦爛的季節
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The Word of the Day!

http://www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk/scripts/showword.php?id=24148

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If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

GUESS WHO'S BACK?

If you thought the camwhore was gone... YOU WERE DEAD WRONG!!!

WHOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Last night, the camera came back. And guess who multi-orgasmed camwhoring everyone? That's right. Just point those eyes in my direction.

Last night was special because of many things. Let me recount them to you.

Special Thing # 1 (yes, my paragraph titles are so creative, aren't they?): Uncle Edison came back from Singapore! Yes, it's been 6 years (yes, that's right 6 YEARS) since he left (for you math-savvy folks, you'll have rightly guessed that he left in the year 2000. That would have made me a 4th Grader), and he hasn't come back since, save for Uncle Edward's wedding. Now, among all my mother's side relatives, it is only Uncle Edison that I never get to know. In fact, I'd never even said a word to him, as far as memory serves. Mom says he was a quiet boy when he was young, so I guess it makes sense.

The biggest difference (from what I can remember) is that pre-Singapore, he was very fit. You could even see his jawbone very well. When he came back... he put on a lot of weight. He confessed to me that he had no time to do sports anymore. One thing that amazes me is that his Filipino hasn't suffered in Singapore. Also, he doesn't have any problem with Singaporeans. Other than that, everything is as Kenn and other people describe Singapore to be--cosmopolitan, advanced, with lots of English and Chinese speakers, etc...

So anyhow, we talked for a while, then conversation went dry. Well, at least now I know SOMETHING about him. Other than the fact that he was ECE as well (like Andrew, I mean) and graduated top 8.

Special Thing #2 (I just can't get over how ORIGINAL I am! Where's that "rolling eyes" emoticon?): Auntie Elinor and Auntie Elaine (they're sisters, you see) are going to France! See, one just came from France, and the other from San Fran, but now they'll both be France bound. Both're studying. Now, since they've been around my entire life, I know quite a lot about them (not like the above example :p).

Auntie Elinor, Mom, Uncle Edison and Grandma

Auntie Elaine

Special Thing #3 (gotta love that ORIGINALITY): Auntie Sasa is going to be a mom in 5 months. (I need the "rock on" sign now)

Special Thing #4: Achie Kim has come back from... Canada? Was it? Anyway, she's studying too. Yes, everyone in this side of the family is studying.

Achie Kimie

Special Thing #5: There are three babies at the moment, which means... Mom is on Baby-Crazy mode. She spent ten minutes just plain giggling (and I mean just giggling) with Auntie Jeanie's (A-hnia Michael's wife) second son. It was like, the baby would giggle, which mom found so cute, prompting her to giggle. Her giggling made the baby giggle more. His giggling would make mom giggle more. Repeat. Siguro nangawit yung mga braso ni Auntie Jeanie sa kabibitbit sa kanya.

Of course, Jacob is no exception, all adorable while he ran around the garden, watching the inflatable Santa Claus whatever pop up when the electricity came on, then just flop down on the grass when the electricity switched off.

Then there's A-hnia Charles' son, CJ who just kept looking at everything all innocent and cute and stuff. Boy, will i have stories to tell them when they grow up! Hahahaha!

Baby-Crazy Mommy!

Here're some other pictures from last night:

Di-ko David, Di-yi Vicky, A-yi Betty, Mommy and Ama in the center

... No comment.

GROUP PIC! (click for larger version. I am NOT naming every single person there...)

Auntie Elinor and Di-yi

THE CONFERENCE!!! You can tell Mom is talking.

A-yi Betty and ... which one is this? Too many babies. Haha! I see Baby-Crazy runs in my mom's family... could that mean it runs in mine???

Here's a little Macro to make Martin happy (I remember him saying, "G-damnit, i'm gonna die without my macro." Haha!)

Lechon Buddies.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. The camwhore is BACK!!! Expect that Multiply to fill up. Fast.

I love this camera.

From 華菲

Ho Leung Kam Oy: Kamie Ho

Last night and today are victories in more than one sense.

Dec. 20, 2006

Sometime about 8:00 pm, we went to Arlington for the final day of Mrs. Ho's wake.

[In case some of you don't know, Mrs. Ho, lovingly known to us as yi-po, is my paternal grandmother's sister. There were four of them siblings left (three sisters and 1 brother) about 4 years ago, and now it's just my grandma and her brother left]

There was a (protestant) service that we were told about quite belatedly, so we were there quite late.

The room had changed from the first day of the wake when I first got there. First it was the one upstairs, very cold. Now, it was the one on the ground floor, not as cold but quite beautiful (especially the scenery. It was something like a rock formation with a(n obviously fake) earthen jar of some sort at the top pouring water down into this reservoir that collected it. I wanted to look out, but I didn't.

When we entered, we sat down and started listening to the pastor. His name was Leonardo, and the way he gave the sermon was quite different from the Catholic way--something Andrew and I found refreshing. He made some very good analogies [How is it that God receives you through Christ? If a stranger came to your door ragged and unpresentable, would you ask him to come in and have a drink? No, right? But what if he says, "I'm the friend/seatmate/whatever of your son."?] [How important is salvation? If someone buys you a very expensive watch, how would you take care of it? Would you just leave it anywhere convenient? No, right? You'd take very good care of it, because you know its value. Now if that person died getting you that watch? (just go with it) How expensive in your eyes is that watch? As expensive as the person's life. That's what salvation is like. It's free, but it's expensive], and all the while, he spoke very fluent Hokkien.

After the sermon (I hear someone wasn't happy because he didn't give a eulogy), we had a little tête-à-tête with juice and food and started chatting. Pastor Mike (the other one, who was very tall) came over and introduced himself, then asked about where we studied and things. He read the name of their Church in Hokkien too (安息主懷; an hiok zu huai. Yes, I'm quite bothered about the hiok, too. Isn't it supposed to be "siak"? As in 休息?").

I later approached Pastor Leonardo and asked for some help reading words on the banners strung up across the room. Then we got talking about China and 革命 and other things. Afterwards, I met his wife and they all went home.

Before we went home, we stopped by some other establishment to "disperse" the bad mojo from the wake. We stopped by Ling Naam 嶺南 and walked around. Dad informed me that it was what they'd been going to for the past 3 days, such that Mom suspected that the guards already knew them. I told him Ling Naam got plus points in my book because their name was in Hokkien.

We looked in and found some floral structures with "Congratulations!" ribbons streaming down the sides. Turns out, they had just been blessed by the priest the Sunday before. Some woman in blue came out and said she was an Alonzo. Uhuh.

She went back inside to get this menu thingy for us. In the mean time, I mentioned to Dad how we were "transferring" the bad mojo to their shop, which had just been blessed with good mojo. He burst out laughing and tapped my head lightly going, "你嘅頭." "Ni ge hau."(That's Taishanese for "Your head." but with the implication of, "There's something wrong with ~").

She came back out, handed us the menu, and we headed off. Upon later inspection, I found the prices to be exorbitant. I also started critiquing their dishes. ("Where have you ever heard of a Chinese restaurant that sells Pancit in Bilao?")

That night, when I went to sleep, there were words from the sermon still ringing in my head. Our sister, Ho Leung Kam Oy, needs no prayers. She is with our Lord now. What more can you wish for her?

亦何未遂?

無.

Dec. 21, 2006

Morning, we're hurrying back to Arlington. It looked really different in the morning.

Mom was telling us we couldn't look at the casket because we'd get the bad mojo, and Alex was mocking this. Every single time she'd chastise Andrew about something (e.g. removing the red/white sash before the burial, looking at the casket, leaving his bottle of water lying down instead of standing up, slouching in his seat, and other shallow things), he'd go "Hooooy! Huwag ka ngang ganyan! Gusto mo bang malasin ka ng 1 billion years?" And we'd all laugh [even mom, but she won't admit it. hehe]

So we step in, and Pastor Leonardo is there, so I raid him with questions again. Then he gives the final eulogy, and we leave.

We walk out towards the street, then ride the car to Heritage Park, then walk some more, where we sit through the all-Hokkien eulogy that Pastor read out, then have some drinks before we leave for the restaurant in Robinson's (in Pioneer). We eat lunch at Mr. Choi's, then go home, where I slept for 3 hours.

忘了你我就活不了

Some days, your luck is just wicked.

Today was a completely uneventful day, just sitting at home and trying to busy myself with all things Chinese so that I wouldn't just die of boredom all of a sudden.

Then, guess what?

I got the autographed postcard that the folks at AaronLines.com were referring to in my mail, and a link to Aaron's special song, "I Thank You".

Yep.

I have the song.

Yep.

*nods vigorously*

Now, I was expecting something like Unloving You, which basically showcased the balladeer in Aaron. But this one... wow. This one was amazing. Strong vocals, ripping guitars, simple but meaningful lyrics, catchy tune... less than three (<3).

好感動哦!

其實我非容易被感動, 可是這歌詞和歌手的唱法真的特別動人.

I can't share the lyrics or the song with the world, as much as I'd like to.

Hehehe... I am so happy I pre-ordered that CD.


P.S. In case you were wondering about the title, it's a line from 燃燒" ("你　躲在我心裡　讓我有心跳　忘了你我就活不了"). I was trying to come up with a suitable translation, but it sounds cheesy/dumb in the other languages that I know. Chinese is waaaay poetic.

English: If I forget you, I won't be able to live.
Filipino: Kung makalimutan kita, hindi na ako mabubuhay.

Speaking of things, there's a sale in MegaMall this Christmas.

Yes, that's right. Any Filipino's eyes would be popping out right now, while at the same time getting dressed to head on over there and take advantage of the situation. Seriously!

When has MegaMall EVER had sales during Christmas? If anything, it should be a preposterous mark-up of astronomical proportions. Business is bad this year. Gosh.



Hokkien song! Betcha you've never heard on of those, have you??? HAVE YOU??? (my friends are not included, as most have heard at least one from me).

Don't rely too much on the lyrics though... that's basically a lot of Taiwanese guessing or and homophones for which characters fit which sounds. I wonder why on earth they used 代志 for "problem". I'm certain "tai" is not written like that. In fact, I think the character should be 大.

But that's all guessing. Back to my Aaron Lines song!

Yes, it's Christmas [break]

School's been out for three days (officially) now.

I got a load of presents, this cool red book on Chinese Filipinos called 華菲, and I think it's wicked.

Elsewhere, I'VE GOT THE LYRICS TO "TRYING TO GET BACK TO YOU"!!!!

It's from the xanga of this guy named "lone_knight" and he apparently typed the thing out by himself.

Anyway, here it is! You all can finally enjoy it!



Trying To Get Back To You by Doc Walker

There ought to be a faster way to fill up a Malibu, I swear
Thank God, today you can pay here at the pump
One little thing to make up time to get me back out there
Heading down the road like a bullet from a gun

I bet she's in that flannel robe, curled up by the fire
Reading Bridget Jones for the fifteenth time
Every minute I'm not there is another I'll need forgiveness for
It’s still three hundred miles to Caroline

Everything is in slow motion
No matter what I do
It's like running underwater
Trying to get back
Trying to get back to

I wonder how it'll go down when I pull up in the drive
Will she throw her arms around me or throw me out
I can beg and plead my case and say I need her in my life
But I can't do a thing from where I am right now

Everything is in slow motion
No matter what I do
It's like running underwater
Trying to get back
Trying to get back to you

Mile after mile, wheels turn so slow
Will I ever get back home
Everything is in slow motion
No matter what I do
It's like running underwater
Trying to get back
Trying to get back to you [x2]

No matter what I do
It's like running underwater
Trying to get back
Trying to get back to you

Wheels turn so slow

Trying to get back
Trying to get back to you

Ken, Lawrence, and I

I love my barkada to bits.

There is nothing in the world quite like spending time with them, all one bunch, despite all the crap that's been circling the clique lately. I feel so alive and at home with them (yes, even with my not-so-good relationship with Jackie. She's still my bestie).

But then there's that undeniably good feeling when you hang with a different group. It's not the same--and sometimes, when you're on not-so-good terms with other members of your kada, it can be even better.

Today was an example of that.

I went and got my barong from Xavier at about 9:00 this morning, then I walked to Ash Creek and met up with Ken (Go, not the beloved Kennzo we have grown to know on this blog). He was sitting at a table, cap and book on the table, bleary-eyed and stoic, staring at me.

I ordered a Peppermint Mocha. Ooh... pepperminty. So we sit down and get to talking, and eventually, he gets livelier and the droopy-eyed expression faded away. He and I were constantly throwing glances over my shoulder to see if he had arrived, and Ken basically briefed me on everything. When Lawrence DID arrive, we were basically just sitting down, and we somehow managed to insert some Caesarian crap in between talk about: Suck & Blow, last night's Soiree, slutty ICAns, ICAns with tongue rings, drunk ICAns, slutty, drunk ICAns with tongue rings that attempted to engage in Suck & Blow in last night's Soiree, peppermintiness and Lawrence wanting to get cold coffee (oo nga pala! He made a wisecrack that was something to the effect of "Cold coffee is the coffee for the young." (my Peppermint Mocha was hot.)). \

While Lawrence debated with himself, I continued to bash Dominic (yes, HIM again) (I swear, if he ever reads this, he'll so murder me. I mean we're fine, really, but I guess old stigma never really goes away.), and Ken continued to be the only productive member of our little temporal triumvirate. After a while, Lawrence piped up that we ought to go to the ITC in school to dig up some crap on our topic. We gave it a thought and decided it was worth a shot, so we schlepped right up and out of our seats (except me. I was too busy reveling in all the Fukien being yelled in the tiny cafe, thanks to that Chinese wedding down the road and all the Fukien oldies flocking to Starbucks to cool down in the searing Saturday heat) and headed down the road to Xavier. When we got in, we beelined the ITC, but upon getting there, we were only slightly productive, as after a while, the beautiful quiet somnolence of the place (sans any people) was just hypnotic. There was this heavy sweetness in the air that made me unbelievably happy. And I somehow "felt" America.

Yes, that's right. No, you didn't read/I didn't write wrong. That's America, not Canada. Haha. And while I wait for you to shake your head in disbelief, I'll insert some soliloquy about how I've been missing America a lot lately (like just this morning, in my classroom). But that sentence alone was enough for it to sink in, so on with the story!

The rest of the morning (eleven thirty something til about twelve something) saw us basically loafing on the two sets of three-couches stuck up against each other. While I catatonically dictated some squiggly figures in red ink on some pad paper, Kenzo leafed through the Spiderman pin-up whatever he found, and Lawrence just sat down.

Also, somewhere around this time, Lawrence saw a book on cars and went bananas over it. So cute! Like a second Kenn. Furthermore, we were just walking around in the library and picking out books, and I had already picked one out when, just when I closed it, Lawrence pointed out "Ooh... may dust pa!" or something like that, and we experimented with different books and seeing how much dust flew out. It was so fun.

So anyway, we began just lazing around, and I soon found even myself all stretched out on one of the couches and inhaling the atmosphere. It felt so magical--those few minutes we spent in seemingly eternal quiet and the long minutes of comfortable silence.

That was special.

A Message To Fate, Destiny and whatever else is out there

Seriously, FUCK YOU!!! FUCK YOU TO HELL!!!!!!!

Not only do you have to go and mess with my life, you have to go and mess with my friends' and family's lives too. God, just LEAVE them the fuck alone. Leave US the fuck alone!

I want my life back, and you've been doling out the crap like hotcakes. Stop. Give me back my damn life! It was effing fine til' you stepped in. You can just schlep back out, got it?

Aaron Lines and Doc Walker

Aaron Lines has a new album. Why am I not freaking out right now (well, not that you would know whether I am or not, but I would generally lose any semblance of continuity in my sentences, and you would detect the abuse of exclamation points and caps lock)? I've already freaked out. About two hours ago until a few seconds ago.

He's got a new album coming out on the first of May this coming year. First 200 fans to pre-order get their names added to the fans list in the album... you know what? I'll just let you read for yourself:

http://events.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=events.detail&eventID=140799.33648&hashcode=320519D0-8B25-45CC-B508-8DD353DB2718

Then Doc Walker's new video is coming out. It's called "Trying To Get Back To You", and while the lyrics are quite corny, the music video was awe-inspiring. Maybe I'll go steal it from the CMT website (have I mentioned I've downloaded software for that?) and upload it to YouTube and show you all.

Oh, by the way, have I mentioned that I can now also grab videos from YouTube? It's thanks to this wonderful software suggested by Mr. Sy called "YouTube Grabber". So far, I've stolen a whole slew of very nice videos and have added them to my collection. There is so much joy in this world.

Now I'm just going to procrastinate all my damn homework.